Grues Day, Jelly 31 976 GUE The Story of My Site My very first site was at geocities. It's still up after all these years and remains a testament to poor web design. The sole intent behind this site was to archive my LambdaMOO fanfic from *anonymous, a list on LambdaMOO that is entirely anonymous. I started this journal back in 1999 because I needed something to do, something to fill the empty hours of unemployment and being broke. At the time I was seeing Kinja without Malyss's knowledge. Sadly the best entries would've been about Kinja and I didn't write anything because Kinja was paranoid about being caught by her dopey and retarded muslim husband and I was too worried about hurting Malyss's feelings. The journal first appeared at xoom which became nbci. I got fed up with their little frameset and ads. At xoom/nbci I was using some stupid front page that was supposed to tease people to come inside and show them everything that was waiting for them in my lair of boredom. When I realized I was dealing with the same page over and over again I decided to put everything on the front page. The archive pages back in those days went from the last day of the month all the way down to the first day of the month. I found that irritating and switched it so the first day of the month was at the top and the last day was at the bottom. I delineated the month in ten day increments, first ten days in the leftmost column, second set of ten days in the center and the last ten days in the rightmost column. That idea remains even on my current archive pages. The xoom/nbci pages can not be found at The Internet Archive. Tired of the constant ads, cookies and javascripts at most free sites I went to look for a free site without those little thorns. That's when I found eccentrix. The site started taking on its current look with three columns in front. I believe around that time I started color coding everything. Unfortunately I was using the same kind of page to archive the site. I'd choke an entire page with entries, give them link anchors in hopes they'd be easily accessible when it just added to the confusion since nobody knew what to look for in the first place from the density of the text. I became dissatisifed with eccentrix when they stopped allowing regular FTP and forced users to use their shitty web interface to upload which took far too long. The old eccentrix site is available at The Internet Archive. As time marched on I got a job working for family in NYC which ended up badly and reinforced never do business with family because they'll take advantage of you being blood to stiff you on cash. It was lucrative at the time and in March 2001 I registered heptapod.org and web space. I was under the impression that I had made up the word heptapod back in 1997 but it seems at the same time or probably before me Ted Chiang thought up the neologism for his story "The Story of Your Life". Fortunately the coinage of "heptapod" has never been an issue. The way I'd always try to describe heptapod to people was "an octopus on the losing end in a wrestling match with an outboard motor". As the years progressed I did my best to make my site easily accessible to other people considering its density. In October 2002 I was given a livejournal key by Mordred and I started posting there on an infrequent basis. Most of the posts are simply links to heptapod.org, disgusting pictures or insipid ramblings. I have tried using a weblog script called Moveable Type but I haven't had the patience to dick around with it and make it work. My site is updated with EditPlus every single day of the year. Every tag, url and class is written in by yours truly except I do not have any inkstains on my hands and fingers to show my efforts. People use weblog scripts to make their lives easier and facilitate their site so a hobby doesn't become a chore. I have lots of reasons why I don't use scripts and insist on maintaining this site in my way. The only thing which is advantageous in using LiveJournal is getting involved with little communities and getting more readers with feedback. Unfortunately every LiveJournal, while it may not read the same, ends up looking the same as every other LiveJournal. Moveable Type has that problem where every site ends up looking the same due to people being too lazy to create their own templates or they think the layout is "good enough". When I'm done updating my site I feel like I've accomplished something. I can review the text at my leisure instead of feeling rushed because all that type is in some web field with a mood of urgency about it because the browser might fart and kill the last thirty minutes of typing. Yeah, I'm probably making my life more complicated but that's my choice. You're not the one who is going to update this site and if you did I'd probably cut and paste your submission or email then format it in HTML. There are issues with this site like better navigation and reformatting the older entries so there is a consistency in the layout. Woe betide the new reader who visits this site and goes before March 2003 only to find a dense jumble of entries. I am still considering acquiring another domain but that just means more money and more work. The new domain would be devoted solely to my dreams with a link back to heptapod.org so that reader could get the full story. This would go against my beliefs that something needs to be updated every day due to the relative infrequency of my dreams. Updating my site once every three days or worse would just rub me the wrong way. March of 2003 was when I started the new layout for the site where I archive each entry on a separate page for easier reading. At first the layout was a pain in the ass but I've gotten used to it and like doing things the hard way because it makes things easier for my meager audience and hopefully more accessible for any new readers that I acquire over time. The other main change to the site was giving the front page two columns, one taking up 66% of the page and the one on the left hand side taking up 33% of the page. Finally I refer to people by their LambdaMOO names or their other non-LambdaMOO-affiliated online names out of consideration for their privacy. Sometimes I slip, they'll catch it or not and if they catch it and contact me then I'll fix my boner at their request. If you really must know the names and who they are I'll list them now. Jaybird and maribou: I became acquainted with them on LambdaMOO, I became friends with Jaybird then maribou and then I finally moved out to Colorado Springs. I do consider them to be close friends and not just because they're the only people I know in Colorado Springs. Siggy: A young woman that I acquainted myself with in April 2002 then met in July 2002 only to break off all contact with her in August 2002 due to some unpleasantness and bitterness on my part from feeling like a complete schmuck at being turned down. Siggy contacted me again at the end of last June, we reconciled but she's rarely online anymore and has her own life. Dee, Devo, Devotchka, etc.: A young woman in Oklahoma that I am fixated on and I feel lots of turmoil about because most times I feel my feelings are unreciprocated and I question if I'm just some freaked out stalker who got the wrong idea from five minutes on LambdaMOO six or more years ago on LambdaMOO. She always tells me that I discount her feelings. That says volumes about my character. Malyss: My first real girlfriend. A kind and understanding woman that I cheated on. That says volumes about my character. Kinja: A married woman that I fooled around with for a year behind Malyss's back. The best way to describe it is fights, sex and fun. Brian: My best friend in the entire world. He lives in Delaware and I've known him since high school. Makonan: A young woman that I knew and with whom I thought I had engendered a close relationship. She still reads my site and I'm not about to be so petty as to delete her heptapod.org email address. Sometimes I wish we'd talk again and other times I just don't think about it. Anyway I'm sure to get at least one upset email that I didn't mention names. Please note, gentle reader, that I am writing about people who were involved in, what I consider to be, major events in my tiny life. One name that is unmentioned goes unmentioned due to their involvement in my tiny life. At their request I have not discussed our relationship or their crucial involvement in my life even though it was remarkably brief. my philosophies regarding online journals Other sites, whether independently hosted or through LiveJournal, really aren't to my liking and I tend to avoid them. Most tend to be updated infrequently or are choked with the kitschy and clever image files from online quizzes. Yeah finding out which Powerpuff Girl you are says volumes about the author. I understand that the quizzes are meant to be fun and show fellowship among other users but I can't abide by them. Now and again I have taken advantage of these but most of those times it was because I thought my acquaintances had thought of it themselves and were simply creative and interesting or the concept behind the surveys were more revealing of the author than "Which political party are you?" Friends-only or protected entries go against my grain and those can be found at LiveJournal and other sites. I hold these people in contempt because hiding entries only serves to be dishonest or engender petty backbiting that the author originally lacks the balls to say in public. My definition of dishonesty in this case is by not giving the full picture. When I have been privy to these hidden entries I've only been disappointed expecting something lurid or vicious or brutally honest and only found the entries to be relatively mundane but thankfully lacking in quizzes. At least Siggy seems to use friends-only posts to vent and I will always respect her privacy. One could say that I am no better by using people's online handles or the fact that I've danced around certain subjects in previous entries, like Kinja, but it has always been at the request of those involved rather than my desire to keep my tiny life a secret. about spivak's razor Thanks to maribou I have a title for this page instead of simply being heptapod dot org. maribou coined the phrase "spivak's razor" to make light of my logic processes and non-sequitor flashes of insight. The correct definition, according to the wordsmith maribou, is: "if the answer seems true, it is true!"* I feel a need to quote from The Dictionary of Misinformation and its entry on "parsimony" which is sometimes known as "Occam's Razor". the simplest explanation which covers all the circumstances is the best. Complicated circumstances may call for a complicated explanation, but if it is the only one that deals, or attempts to deal, with all the known facts, then it still may be consistent with the principle of parsimony. So I have successfully applied spivak's razor to the definition of parsimony and twisted it to fit my own needs. Over the past four years, as of this writing, I've only influenced two people with my site. Rebeka from LambdaMOO and this guy who I don't know from Adam and I have no way of contacting him since his email link is dead. That touches me.

The original version read as:
It's a retarded version of Occam's razor except the simplest answer is true. Considering the volume of sheer bullshit on this site I felt it was appropriate and attached the name to this site in May 2003 or June 2003.