After an intense and involved staff meeting here at heptapod.org it was decided that today would not be colored red considering the notability of Tuesday's events.
It's a sad state of affairs if the President of the United States of America needs to be cooped up inside a high-tech presidential limotank rather than riding in a convertible like FDR.
He always has blue balls.
Man did I feel senile.
What's that you say? Discontinue oneiromancy and learn to write like an adult?
"Hardy har har" is my rejoinder to you, gentle reader.
It's the whole "who the fuck is that" reaction when reading about people by their online handles rather than names. Heck even if I did use people's IRL names nobody would know or even give a fuck about the shenanigans here at heptapod.org. If I recall correctly and I'm not succumbing to paramnesia then I distinctly recall in the past there was once a cheat sheet so people could keep names and places straight as they girded their loins and plunged headfirst into this site.
Presented for your edification and entertainment the dramatis personae of heptapod.org. Kinda based upon the list of emergency contacts in case the editor in chief is incapacitated.
1. What is your favorite word?
Cat. Simple, monosyllabic, strong consonants with a simple syllable. The animals ain't too bad either.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Overtime.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Having a partner in crime.
4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
I'm going to cop out and say it's two things. Not feeling welcome or invited. Also being forced to actually interact with dumb people who aren't aware they're idiots.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
I love silence.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Anything that's on the periphery of my hearing, low, droning and constant for hours at a time and there's absolutely nothing I reasonably can do to make it fucking stop.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Cunt. Patently offensive and awful fun to use in the sack. Unlike other words I don't believe it will be in common parlance like 'fuck' nor destigmatized by having people adopt the word for themselves.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Private detective. I'm awesome at researching people with free stuff and most dicks end up on cases to shadow cheating spouses and take pictures so FREE AMATEUR PORN!!!
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Loan processor.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"You're in luck! You're not going to see these people here for the rest of eternity!" and then he rambles off a list of people who annoy me like Sourpuss and Lois (the assistant manager at my job).
