April 2009

4/7/09
Shit, I don't know if I should be saving this stuff up and posting it on 4/8/09 or just upload everything now and then add a "SORRY ON HIATUS" page.

Sunday evening I was anxious about work. Wondering if I'd remember how to do it, get into that zone and generate productive work rather than grunt work. Most of Monday morning was stressing about looking for new work rather than keeping a positive attitude.

I hate positive attitudes.

Also on Monday morning I was awake around ten past six but I stayed in bed until the very end which was much more soothing than getting up, logging on and dicking around with the internet.

unh

Just want to say that after Monday I can finally sympathize with how Jaybird feels after a hard day at the office. Once I came in the door, undressed and waddled downstairs I was thinking to myself "The only thing I want to do is heat something up in the microwave, play Puzzle Quest and go to bed by nine p.m.."

Didn't happen.

Instead I was doing laundry at the laundromat for the first time reading Earth Abides for the third time. Parenthetical thought: I believe that I'm skimming through it rather than reading it this time. Sad really. Wonder when Lee and I will have our book club for Earth Abides. I'm home at 8:00 p.m., none the worse for wear and if I hit the hay around ten on Monday night then it's a triumph but I'd hardly be making a note saying "HUGE SUCCESS".

At least I'll be sleeping in my bed regardless of its made status.

ouch

Sleeping on the fucking lovesac is awful for me. I tried to fluff it up so it was evenly full but every couple of hours I'd awaken with killer joint pain. On the bright side my left arm didn't fall asleep and Spot stayed with me.

All day at work my right knee was killing me and I'm waiting for the pain to go away like so much rain for another day. Definitely need to make sure that I only sleep on the lovesac when it's absolutely necessary. Sunday night it was not necessary since I could've just replaced the futon mattress and slept there but I left it half folded atop the frame so I can easily remove the slipcover and get it washed at the laundromat.

oneiromancy

Once again I had manifested at my father's business. The place was dark. Either the lighting was strange or I'm misremembering the scene because I have a nagging suspicion that it was light outside but the interior was immune to illumination.

I'm not certain if the following recollection could be counted as a nightmare because I fully understood that the situation was a dream. My paternal grandmother was sitting at my father's station. At first glance she appeared as she was back in her final year on earth. She was facing away from me and I couldn't see her face in the mirror. In fact her reflection was simply showing the view of her back and the back of her head rather than her face. Obviously I was unnerved by her mere presence and the mirror schtick compounded the spookiness but each time I glanced back in her direction I saw her hair grow darker and a little thicker.

Grandma turned around and looked at me with this big unreal smile that made Tillie's manic grin appear sane. Her eyes were completely black like an animal's eyes. Reflexively I looked away towards the main desk and found my grandpa there smiling at me.

That's when I started screaming and couldn't stop screaming. I couldn't break eye contact with my grandfather who had the same thing going on with his eyes too.

Instead of the unseemly jolting to wakefulness the dream faded out into something which was forgotten due to the intensity of the prior scene. When I did wake up I remember thinking that I have to remember what I could for heptapod.org. Hooray!