Right now my table lamp is bent over giving the impression of being mournful. I was reading off the track list of a CD that I burned so I could name the mp3 files. Had its neck not been bent over there would've been awful glare in my eyes. Now I just want to hug my desk lamp and tell it that everything's going to be alright, that there will always be bright lightbulbs and plenty of electricity flowing through its wires.
Poor table lamp, I love you.
Of course I am the choir.
What's the point of reading something if I'm not going to learn anything, if it's not going to challenge me and simply engage me by creating the illusion that my personal philosophies are validated because someone had similar thoughts published in a book?
I mean the fucking book isn't my bible, not even close (protip: i have no bible) and the last time I read it I was spending aimless hours in my hometown's public library reading what caught my fancy until quittin' time came kicking me out on the streets until sunrise.
In case you're interested I started reading Stranger in a Strange Land because I knew that Heinlein was a bigwig when it came to science fiction, how this was supposedly his magnum opus and the cover said "NOW WITH COMPLETE TEXT LOL". Okay maybe it didn't say "LOL" but you get the idea. So I figured I might as well read it and take yet another step in the vain hope of becoming well-read, well-rounded maybe a better person.
Found out that the one remaining waitress who knows me is leaving in nine days for greener pastures in Arizona.
My meal made me feel ill and magnified my feeling of obesity tenfold much to my dismay. The entire time I told myself that I'm going to ride my bike for an hour to hopefully offset the punishment my body endured between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m..
I really have no reason to go back there.
Some weird way it made me feel like Cerebus in Guys.
Dave Sim's Cerebus the Aardvark is subect to the same criticism. Of course this pales in comparison to the derision afforded Mr. Sim with his misogyny and newfound religion. I am still uncertain if the two are related but it's irrelevant in this case.
The original Cerebus the Barbarian comics were fun, he matured with the introduction of Lord Julius and beginning the High Society storyline. Church and State remains his largest and best work in my humble opinion. What makes these stand out is the wit which compliments the storytelling rather than overshadowing it like Schwartzenegger one-liners or trying to make Star Trek funny rather than science fiction.
Jaka's Story was more serious dealing with the relationships between five people living in a small hamlet on the side of a mountain and from there the story became progressively more serious and dense with text, diminishing the experience as a comic book and turning it into what Sim calls "Reads". A "Read" has text which accompanies a lurid and provocative image rather than the traditional comic book the rest of the world is familiar with. Halfway through Mothers and Daughters the comic became nothing but dense text and eventually became the whipping boy of the comics community with Issue 186.
In short, Cerebus lost what made everyone really like it.
After Mothers and Daughters he began Guys. In his fascist matriarchal Cirinist society single men live in taverns, drinking their lives away until they are married off or drop dead. Cerebus watches everyone around him having fun, enjoying their meager lives of genteel incarceration until he becomes the bartender and watches all his friends "go south" to adventure leaving him alone.
Anyway long story short, too late, that's why I felt like Cerebus in Guys. The same feeling applies to my day job where, besides managers, only one person remains in the office who has been on the job for more than five years and she was hired the same day I was hired at Usury, Inc..
I can't help but imagine that they've moved on to happier things.
I want a happier life. I want to feel more content.
I don't want to be left behind.
