3/13/08
Due to unforeseen circumstances heptapod.org was not updated on a regular basis. I like to imagine that my shop teacher's handful of readers were curious and wanted to read whatever would've been posted here at heptapod.org.

A lucky charm is not inherently lucky. Sadly there are no luckstones like there are in NetHack. Rabbits feet are just cruel, not lucky. Four leaf clovers are a rare aberration but there is nothing about them which promotes good fortune.

Good luck and fortune come from people not objects. Finding a rare item on the spur of the moment can give someone a thrill and a feeling of elation which will precipitate good fortune. Simple fact is that the individual has a different state of mind and actually sees the world through a different filter.

I know everyone knows this but when one's angry, everyone's an enemy, when one's happy then the whole world smiles with you and when you're depressed the rest of the world is just plain miserable. This is where one decides one's fate by their outlook.

Now holding onto a lucky item is a good thing because it is a reminder. "I was happy when I found this! I can be happy again!" One must remind oneself that good fortune comes from acts and from within rather than without via inanimate objects.

Trust in yourself.

Actually there will be 50 dreams for 2008 when there are 1,060 dreams.

Still in my opinion reaching the 1,050 mark by the middle of March is impressive to me.

Tuesday night I had a strange experience. I had a profound realization based upon my own experiences as a human being that the origin of suffering is attachment. This came completely out of the blue. Beforehand I was feeling miserable because it was getting late and I could hear my head starting up with crazy thoughts. As I lay down I realized one source of my suffering was my attachment to my friends.

One of the crazy thoughts is usually that everyone hates me. What makes this line of thought even more unfortunate is the fact that this δαíμων will go into detail why people don't like me, why people do not want my company and condemn me as a worthless human being. Yet as my head was hitting the pillow and I was picking up my naked eye astronomy book, given to me years ago, I suddenly realized that desire, attachment really is suffering.

Here's the rub, will I live by it or simply use it as a cudgel on others when I see the world reflecting my own flaws? I do want to be consistent but most times that's not the case.

Got up in the dark and grumbled in my head that it's too damned early. I swiftly countered this with the truth that I didn't get to sleep until late when I should've been in bed two hours earlier that night.

Outside it was cool but there was a little warmth left from the past two false starts of spring. It made me think of holding raddidge's hand in the rain, she stepped away to look at something but my fingers and a bit of my palm still hold a bit of her warmth on my skin.