Counter to my beliefs and common sense I had acquired a job at the college across the street. maribou had pulled some strings and got me a cushy job delivering the pages for the school newspaper. Considering my meager intellect I was pretty much the Rudy of the campus especially in the library and journalistic circles.
maribou came down to my basement office, which was quite nice despite the lack of sunlight, with two armfuls of pages that I needed to get to the newspaper, stat! Yeah I know everything's electronic nowadays but they had pasteboards and stuff just like I was used to when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. Cue series of elevators trying to find the right combination which would take me to the penthouse printing office.
The rest escapes me.
What I came away with that night is that I need to be less avoidant and actually do things in order to prevent myself from "filling in the blanks". This is a learned behavior which I used to manage my anxiety and paranoia but in the end it exascerbates the situation.
Still it means getting off my ass and reckon I'm better off cleaning up stuff when I'm feeling overwhelmed with specious and completely unfair assumptions.
