1/6/07
Colossal fuck ups. Okay it's not colossal but when I realized what I had done I felt like a god damned imbecile.

Ilsa the futanari-wannabe dwarven valkyrie is in the middle of a very good dungeon run. She retrieved the luckstone from Mine's End and acquired a bag of holding in Sokoban.

Along the way Ilsa found two wands of polymorph which meant she could polypile crap and make crappy stuff into cool stuff. Polypiling means putting a ton of stuff into one square then zapping a wand of polymorph at it which causes the items to change into other stuff. Sometimes stuff will combine into a golem.

By now she was stressed carrying so much loot stuffed into her bag of holding. She dropped the bag, looted it and took out all the good stuff putting it into a pile. A moment later she zapped her steel wand of polymorph at the pile, sorted through it, picking out the good stuff and zapped it again.

Ilsa descended further, found a big room and went to get a scroll of earth as a fortification against swarms of monsters. Where's the fucking bag?

Oh shit.

The scrolls were in that bag.

Oh shit.

Everything else was in that bag.

Oh shit.

The bag was in the fucking pile.

God damn it!

Since I'm playing valkyrie there's not much concern when it comes to combat. These female fighters are tough enough to face anything and this class tends to be everyone's first ascension.

Anyway Ilsa's still alive, the big room has been cleared but a fuckton of cool loot inside a bag of holding was polymoprhed into some useless tool rather than thinking and not destroying it in an act motivated only by base greed.

I went to Old World Bagels and the internet isn't working but I don't know if it has anything to do with the strong winds out of the west. Who knows, the internet at my house went down but I was able to use an alternate dialup number. Since I couldn't leech any bandwidth I decided to patch NetHack some more. The only patch that worked is the plonk patch. Basically when you genocide trolls you get the message "*plonk*" and when you reverse genocide trolls you get a h@><0r 5p33k of "sent in some trolls" and if you reverse genocide some trolls while hallucinating there's the message of "Sent in the clowns".

The patch is more cute than anything else. I've added it to the binary.rar here at heptapod.org.

More recent additions to my NetHack binary are the following patches.

• Forget Quitters: Quit the game, you don't get recorded in the top-ten list.
• Enhanced Bag of Tricks: Apply a bag of tricks and there's a chance more than getting nipped will happen to your character.
• Magic Whistle Enhancement: Blow on a magic whistle while confused and get teleported to your pet.

I spoke too soon! The store's innanet is working now! Time to get World War Z on mp3 to listen to during my upcoming dentist appointment.

ohshi, it's just an e-book. Damn it, I thought there was an audiobook!

Oh well, I'll just download the copies of Sinestro Corps War instead.

The thing about my appointment is the fact that I can bring any DVDs I want to bring with me to watch on screen. Of coruse I'm not going to bring porn. I don't want to bring anything funny because funny is really the only thing that evokes any sort of emotion from me. The only DVDs I own that I'd probably watch are Futurama, in before Bunny saying "ARE YOU WATCHING THE SAME EPISODE OVER AND OVER???", and laughing while I have pointy things in my blood and saliva filled mouth while solely breathing through my nose is not conducive to good health and dignity.

So I figured World War Z would be cool enough to keep my attention and not evoke anything from me.

Ilsa was lucky enough to get a throne wish. She acquired a blessed, fireproof +3 cloak of magic protection!

Unfortunately she needs a god damned ring of levitation to proceed any further because of the Medusa level, the Castle and all points gehennomward.