All day on Wednesday I had one question going through my mind.
"Why am I still here?"
First I thought the question was "Why am I still alive?" This thought was accompanied by other thoughts which amounted to the fact that I should've died more than three months ago. Yeah, I should have accepted the last few months as a gift but I can't help but feel that I stole this time from someone else, someone far more deserving than me.
After lunch, feeling a bit more level-headed, I reinterpreted the question as "Why am I still with Usury, Inc.?" Answers came far more easily for this question than the former question. This is my own problem and my own personal hell. I'm trying to keep myself focused on things I can handle rather than focusing on intangibles.
Either way this leaves me feeling tired, wasted and how I only want to sleep in the hope that with tomorrow's sunrise I'll be more sane and rational as a human being.
raddidge tapped me on the shoulder and leaned over pressing her chin against me, "You should call the company, tell them and see if you can get free stuff. It's a snap!" I got on the phone but didn't reach anyone who was of any help just some reps who commisserated and I could hear them shrug in their voices.
Dream faded out and eventually faded back in, I had found another white cat with black spots who was much younger than Spot. The logic of the similarity told me that they would get on famously without any hissing or spitting between either caft. Now I was late for work and I was stuck having to walk there and back since my car had broken down under a highway overpass.
Even more frustrating each step was like wading through molasses in subzero weather.
