2/17/08
Gee whiz. I am beside myself over how dark last night was for me. Still I maintain the entire mood is the culmination of being sick for more than a week. This detestable flu has been haunting me for far too long much to my chagrin. How I long for a day where I medicate myself with my dietary supplements rather than taking sudafed and perhaps a snort of NyQuil for my comfort.

Saturday wasn't that bad but still the concept of effortless breathing remains astoundingly beyond my reach.

I've begun reading Godel, Escher and Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid. I am interested in reading it and exploring the source of all the fuss raised by the book. Plus it's an exercise for my upcoming continued education which I am certain will be comprised of reading books I really won't enjoy in order to acquire a college degree at my advanced age.

Of course I'm certain if I was accepted at Miskatonic University and pursued literary criticism with an emphasis on scholarship of H.P. Lovecraft then I would most certainly be tired and despair of my situation.

You may or may not be aware but I have been taking probiotics for the sake of my gut. Funny thing is that sometimes after I make poop I'll notice that it's green like algae. One thing I read about probiotics is they never really gain a foothold and to continue feeling the benefits then one must take these supplements on a regular basis.

Only thing I've noticed is that I'm gassier but I reckon I do feel better. For example the vicious paints which haunted me for the past two years have significantly subsided.

I did dream but awakening at six a.m. then spending the next four hours trying to sleep and breathing through my mouth weren't conducive to restful sleep or remembering dreams.

Puzzle games are where I clear my head. Most times my brain is set to zero and my mouth just runs with the thoughts I normally keep buried in my skull. While playing Lumines I was remarkably quiet and only had to tell myself to shut up just one time. Most times I'm rambling like a crazy person, insane shit and my personal fears come bubbling up rather than staying locked away where the sun doesn't shine.

I'm pleased with myself.