Let me tell you about my day.
Monday morning's commute was typical but cooler and a bit more comfortable. I pedalled hard to keep my mind off things. Eventually I noticed I was watching my odometer and speedometer more than the road which meant I was dangerously distracted trying to avoid the looming workday.
Instead of resting with my cycling gloves over my eyes, I actually read a book until it was time to go into the office.
Sourpuss kept eye contact with me as I walked in and said "You're not to process this morning."
ohshi~
"Uh, is this just me or everyone?"
She blinked and said that this went for everyone. Whew.
Then there was a huge meeting that had everyone sitting around with their collective thumbs up their respective assholes until 10:30 a.m. whereupon everyone was informed of the changes and new procedures.
We're doing everything the same but the backend is being revamped to get more loans out into the wild rather than having them rotting for three days because someone's too fucking entitled to send over a paystub because they work at shitheel Verizon or Comcast that isn't fucking listed with any of the five directories available to processors. Let's not forget the 'self-employed' who know they need to send in a bank statement to get a loan but think we'll magically give them the fucking cash because they said they're self employed. Prove that you have regular income, idiots.
Fuck them all.
Let's just say that it's no-faxing if your work is listed and people will deign to say something along the lines of "Oh, he's at lunch" or "She's in a meeting, let me transfer you to voicemail". Please note I'm smarter than the average bear and know the scams you Chicago people are running with your off-the-shelf voice messaging systems meant to convey that ZOMG ITS A REEL BUZINESS. First and foremost when I hear the instrumental "Take Five" I know there's shenanigans going on. I only know it's called "Take Five" because 1530AM KCMN was playing it and the DJ identified the tune. Secondly if you're listed only with one directory and 411 but your business is conspicuously absent with the other four directories then there are thieves afoot.
Long story short, nothing has really changed and I have no clue why they yanked our collective chains by having these SUPER-DE-DOOPER SEKKRIT MEETANS.
As work wrapped up and I started kitting myself out for the ride home I popped in my earbuds and was amused when the first song played was "I Don't Like Mondays" by the Boomtown Rats.
Message 263551 on *secret son tut (#213):
Date: Mon Aug 4 16:49:23 2008 MDT
From: Jaybird (#105276)
To: *secret son tut (#213)
Dude! I saw you twice on the way home! Once was by the church on Circle and then again on Cache!
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Validation that I exist, validation that I really am riding my bike to and from work on a regular basis and the fact I was probably going at a good clip despite the fact that my right side was full of hot pain.
Seriously when I'm riding my bike the rest of the world ceases to exist. Cars are simply abstractions of human beings. Dangerous abstractions nonetheless. Other cyclists are merely fellow wanderers in the great desert who are more than happy to share a brief greeting before continuing their long treks.
The fact that my friend Jaybird saw me only serves to underscore my feeling of validation.
