On a wintery day I went out, with Spot, to have some illicit sex. Some dumpy blonde chick hit me up over the internet telling me about how her family is full of uptight born-again Christians and she needed sex before she exploded. Sure, why not?

The entire main floor of her house was a swimming pool. Okay I was a bit disappointed that she wasn't hotter plus she looked more like she was seventeen than twenty six. After she greets me she goes to pull the plug out of the pool. While she's bending over I seea three piece set dangling between the legs. Spot and I look at each other, nervously and cautiously excusing ourselves because of some forgotten errand or responsibility. I'm out the door but Spot's still inside calling the shemale a sick fuck so I yank her by the scruff of her neck and we're running through the snow back to my car. She jumps into the hatchback while I slump down in my seat. An older negro comes out the front door walking a big black dog but I'm pretty sure they're out to find us. Eventually I extricate the car from its parallel parking and we're on the road again.

There's a movie trailer playing on the radio that gives me enormous vertigo. A camera is zooming up and down the height of an amazingly cyclopean tower that looks like a tall, stretched version of Schloss Charlottenburg with more of an earthy color scheme. I figure the place is over nine thousand feet tall. Eventually I see some bland blonde guy jumping out of the topmost minaret and hurtling earthwards for minutes! When I think his descent will be stopped short by being impaled on a flagpole he reaches out to grab it and the flagpole breaks off in his hand.

Now the trailer really begins with Don LaFontaine doing his "In a world..." schtick. The bland blonde guy is halfway towards kinetic poisoning holding onto a broken flagpole when he spots a black princess tumbling through space. They match speeds but it's too late for the princess to do her impersonation of Peach using her ballgown as a parachute. So he throws the flagpole like a spear, snagging the princess's dress and sends her hurtling at supersonic speeds towards the ground. The flagpole jams in the ground causing tremors yet the princess is safe because she didn't hit the ground because she was stuck on the makeshift spear. He died of kinetic poisoning a few seconds after her landing.

My car pulled up to the front of the castle and I entered the huge wooden doors. The sole purpose for my visit was to commit suicide. A priest led me to a waiting room where I sat, hunch shouldered, on a pew until it was time for me to die. The wait wasn't that long and I was led to a room that overlooked the landscape of my dreams. Before me was a vast drainage system which harkened to my youth in New Jersey and made several appearances in later dreams. A vast amusement park full of colorful beetles to my right. Rainy Mountain's humble skyline stretched beyond them vanishing in the perpetual rain and fog that is its namesake.

I chose not to end my life.