If I do go back to college, I would like to take a Latin class.
"I might have a future." ran through my head. I mulled it over in case it was just something random and I realized that I could have a future if I apply myself.
This will mean doing a lot of stuff that will cause more stress but it's for my greater good. For example I was thinking about returning to college after Wednesday's education fair at the Pikes Peak Workforce Center and how it seemed so feasible. Shit, I was thinking about taking four classes a semester and having a bachelor's degree by 2011. Cue raddidge saying, "It'll only be good for one more year."
My first thought was about how some jobs will pay for tuition but they usually have a rule that it has to be a subject that will be beneficial for the company and ensure your continued loyalty to their establishment. I am not interested in getting a degree in pushing paper. The whole purpose behind getting a degree is a piece of paper that says "LAWLZ HIER ME" even if it's not related to a potential job. Take Jaybird, he has a philosophy and he's a computer monkey with a security clearance. maribou acquired a degree in biology and minored in religion and now she's working her dream job as a librarian.
During my first stint with college I was forced by my mother to take eighteen hours each semester which was a daunting task for me. There's a ton of shit behind my perceived failure with college that I will not touch at this juncture. Okay I'll just say it had something to do with money, lack of a work ethic and realizing I really didn't want to pursue art.
So I might have to look into financial aid which means having another financial monkey on my back and more debt. I don't want any fucking debt in my life. I don't want to owe anyone anything.
Another thought was I can remain at my crappy job with Usury, Inc., continue to make mad money and work my way through college knowing that my finances are relatively sound while paying for my education out of pocket. Of course my job is a source of stress and personal disappointment because of my involvement in purveyors of usury. Of course I can fight my way up the corporate ladder of salaries and go to school and end up ahead of the game.
I have plenty of time to think about this subject, its execution and rewards.
Okay I'm sure there are some people in the peanut gallery who know nothing about usury so I'll copy and paste the definition for their sake.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)Usury \U"su*ry\, n. [OE. usurie, usure, F. usure, L. usura use, usury, interest, fr. uti, p. p. usus, to use. See Use, v.t.]
1. A premium or increase paid, or stipulated to be paid, for a loan, as of money; interest. [Obs. or Archaic]Thou shalt not lend upon usury to thy brother; usury of money, usury of victuals, usury of anything that is lent upon usury.
--Deut. xxiii. 19.Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchanges, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
--Matt. xxv. 27.What he borrows from the ancients, he repays with usury of his own.
--Dryden.2. The practice of taking interest. [Obs.]
Usury . . . bringeth the treasure of a realm or state into a few hands.
--Bacon.3. (Law) Interest in excess of a legal rate charged to a borrower for the use of money.
Note: The practice of requiring in repayment of money lent anything more than the amount lent, was formerly thought to be a great moral wrong, and the greater, the more was taken. Now it is not deemed more wrong to take pay for the use of money than for the use of a house, or a horse, or any other property. But the lingering influence of the former opinion, together with the fact that the nature of money makes it easier for the lender to oppress the borrower, has caused nearly all Christian nations to fix by law the rate of compensation for the use of money. Of late years, however, the opinion that money should be borrowed and repaid, or bought and sold, upon whatever terms the parties should agree to, like any other property, has gained ground everywhere.
--Am. Cyc.
Jaybird, maribou and I were hanging out in my basement apartment's living room. Jaybird's car was parked on the north side of the house. Outside it was cold, gray, wintery and icy. A blue Japanese car was driving down the walkway where the Birdmobile was parked and was slowing down to avoid hitting the Birdmobile.
While peering out the window I saw that the car wasn't going to stop, kick into reverse and back out of the blocked pathway. Nope, the Hindu lady behind the wheel decided it was a wise move to hang a u-turn and head back the way she came. As she began her manouver the car started skidding and the driver's side slammed into the back of my friends's car.
The Birdmobile was violently pushed forward onto Weber and the crushed remains of the blue car went skidding after it. When I got upstairs I saw the blue car now looked more like a waffle than a car. Cops and rescue vehicles were everywhere as if they were expecting such an event.
Later I went back to my hotel and while walking through the lobby I saw my parents coming in the other door. I started to weep. Really weep, the kind of tears that shake the foundation of the soul. My heart ached because they were coming towards me, smiling and waving like I really did want to see them. Once they were arms length from me I started on a tirade of they are to never to come to Colorado again even if I am dead. Now I was furiously shouting at them, my dad looked hurt and my mother started getting that face she would get when she was about to beat the living shit out of me or emotionally abuse me until I just gave up and decided living in my own shit and filth was what I was worth in life.
My eyes closed while I chanted fuck you over and over again. Mother touched my shoulder and whispered "It's not like Florida." I swung my arm out with intent to kill and the dream stopped there.
