Tuesday I had a root canal. The dentist said there's a 40% chance of me being able to keep my upper two front incisors. Yet they're going to do everything in their power to save them or at least let me keep them in my mouth for as long as possible but right now there can be no promises.
Afterwards I spent two hours with the hygienist getting a deep cleaning. Originally I was going to have the whole left side of my mouth cleaned but the job was so involved she could only get the top half and even then I left the office forty minutes past closing time.
I've been thoroughly numbed up. My gums and teeth have been scraped, jabbed and burned with a laser. This is not a pleasant process but it is a necessary process. Right now I am happy that I still have some vicodin left over so I can sleep without being in pain with pulsing gums.
Right now I feel awful and I sincerely hope that at the end of this arduous process that I will have a healthy mouth once again.
Getting my mouth healthy is my birthday and Christmas gift to myself. Screw getting a brand new computer. Screw expensive ten megapixel digital cameras with all the bells and whistles. This act, this process will mean something to me and convey that I ought to love myself and, as Jaybird put it, be kinder to myself.
Metal slammed against metal in a furious backstreet battle between myself and a forgotten assailant. We were wielding two foot long maglites as clubs with the intent of caving on the opponent's skull. Our mêleé was finely choreographed where each swing was deftly parried before achieving its goal. No sparks flew but the black paint on the flashlight's housing began to chip something fierce revealing the aluminum.
Later I was resting from the combat in my apartment. Now I don't remember if anyone won or if the combat was simple sparring between two equals. Either way I was bushed and sitting in front of a multimedia cabinet getting ready to waste my brain watching some television. When I opened the cabinet door I saw the back of the cabinet opening up. The door opened and Brian crawled out happy to see me. He lives in the cabinet behind the television and most times he's happy enough to sit inside the closed cabinet rather than being outside in the great big world.
One thing that I learned towards the end of the dream is that baseball had been outlawed, like home chemistry, by the Department of Homeland Security because anyone who has a baseball bat can inflict harm on another citizen of the Republic. Funny that they only care about their citizens rather than human beings. I rushed out to King Soopers to pick up the last baseball bat and a glove in addition to a video game and crap food. I had a $35 dollar off coupon which meant I ended up spending a grand total of $4.66. Quite a deal.
Before breaking the surface of the waking world I was in the process of finding out of stegosauruses were placental dinosaurs. The hard way. I would have had to brave the thagomizer in addition to two flailing legs to insert my forearm into the stegosaurus's cloaca and feeling around inside for the placenta.
Luckily I was saved by the bell and trudged off to work after a particularly long and involved morning routine.
