Everyone's standing around, shooting the shit and I'm talking a bit with elmgrows and Jaybird about gaming stuff while getting their friend caught up on the new World of Darkness Vampire game. Poker starts and it's a poker game. Reckon I know more about the game than the last time.
The table's crowded, I'm a big guy but I'm taking it all in stride because there are ten people playing poker. This oughta be fun.
The guy to my right brought along his girlfriend. She wasn't playing poker. Fifteen to thirty minutes into the first game she comes over and begins pushing herself between me and her boyfriend. Okay, some stranger's warm breath is on my arm and it's gross but I'm playing the fucking game. Both her hands go under the table and onto his lap. By this time I'm out and I'm starting on my new book. I put my right arm up and block out their monkeyshines. This lasts for about ten minutes and I ask one of the guys if I can switch with him.
Never switch places with someone still playing poker because that fucks up the blind. My bad. But the guy who owns the garage was already out and I take his place.
Rest of the fucking night the girl's doing bullshit high school PDA. I'm thinking "DID YOU PUT IN FIVE BUCKS TO BE AT THE TABLE? ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING PLAY? WHY THE FUCK DONT YOU GO INSIDE OR READ COSMO OR SOME SHIT."
Next round of the tournament starts and I bite my tongue. Now she's actually sitting at the table, she didn't put in, she's not playing any hands and the immature shenanigans are still going on.
Jaybird says that he has to leave around 6-ish because maribou has friends down from Denver. Great. If I could've just ignored it I would've been disappointed because Jaybird was my ride and I don't want to walk home. Once we get in the car I basically give him the Reader's Digest version of what I just gave you, gentle reader.
I'm home. It's over. Next time I'll enquire about the particular situation and if there are going to be any squeaky fifth wheels. Jesus Christ, fucking stay home and masturbate or think about shopping.
The former girl decided to break it gently with me and went away. The Asian girl with down syndrome leapt out of the bushes like a cougar and was chanting about how I'm her boyfriend now. I blacked out.
When I came to, the sun had risen. I wandered back to my motel room which was shared by one of the girls from collections. When I came in the door she gave me the hairy eyeball and locked herself in the bathroom. Outside the motel window I could see there was another building next door only about three feet away. The wind was blowing, their windows were open and I could see there were twenty chicks who were kissing and fondling each other.
Staring too long tends to get the attention of those who are being voyeured. Or the sound of turning on my digital camera to take some digital video called attention to my shenanigans. Most of the chicks started to back away out of sight into their respective rooms. Only a few stayed but they only wanted to berate me for being a pervert.
That's when Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous barges into the room and opens my window. She opens her mouth and one of the girls across the way puts her foot in it. Once again I break out the camera and start videotaping but Patsy gives me an evil look, mumbling with a full mouth but I can't understand her.