4/28/07
Okay right now I want to avoid the world. I want my car fixed and I want to be left alone.

Jaybird has been advising me at Chipotle, after strength training, about how to be happy.

I want to crawl out of this hole and stand in the sunshine and feel the wind in my beard. Right now I imagine that everything is very green, that yellow green which is a sign of new grass, buds waiting to open up and scatter their shells on the patio while they spread their leaves and petals.

Most likely I'll just run under a bush and wait until dark.

On Tuesday I was rambling to Jaybird about how I allowed Devo to get under my skin and I made myself feel like I was being fucked around. Considering her libertine proclivities and the fact that I was stuck in New Jersey making the sound of one hand fapping so I decided to get online and find some local tail.

This was not a situation where I could logically feel guilty about anything. So I ended up making a hookup back in 2000 in New Jersey and went to a New Year's party since I had nothing to do. Funny thing, I lied to Devo that I was home alone. Everything's so childish.

Friday night, at Chipotle, Jaybird was quiet eating his burrito salad and then suddenly said "So why do you want raddidge to break up with you?"

WHAT?

That's what I thought and then I asked him, "Where the fuck did you hear that?"

"You said it on Tuesday."

"No I didn't. What the hell?"

Apparently, somehow, Jaybird got my anecdote about online tale from 2000 mixed up with raddidge.

 

Anyway Jaybird was relieved while I was left confused and worried that somehow I conveyed that idea. Plus that's why I endeavored to be so redundant and repetitive writing this entry to avoid any other confusion.

Reckon it has to do with the fact that I was telling Jaybird about how the person I knew for all of two weeks in December of 2000 was from a completely different planet. I'd talk about stuff and get a certain blank look that is a poker face for listening but it was in one ear and out the other ear.

Of course I followed this up with "raddidge listens to me. She has an open mind. She wants to learn. Completely genuine and that's why raddidge is different from the rest and so very important to me."

Also big tits.

Somehow that got balled up with my tale of an online hookup in Jaybird's head.