May 2006

5/6/06
It's a week later and I don't care about spoilers. This regards The Sopranos. My theory about Vito being in New Hampshire, that he killed himself in that motel room and we're watching his gay afterlife in a town that's like Little San Francisco, has been blown out of the water. When Vito stole the cellphone and called his wife and said goodbye to her and ~~Homo~~ Vito Jr. that only showed he's alive and well in the cruisiest spot in New England.

Where the fuck are they going with this? Are they trying to show that if someone runs far enough, they can avoid their old life no matter how lucrative and dangerous their career? Are they trying to set up something so the viewers actually care when the crew shows up and clips Vito? Or is this some dead-end storyline like Melfi getting raped and knowing the rapist or that fucking Russian in the Pine Barrens?

life without illusions is like breathing with one nostril

In the past, I've openly discussed my hallucinations. A little green-clothed man standing on top of the water heater. Seeing photo flashes in strange places where there aren't any cameras. Recently I've been noticing the LED on the base of my cordless phone has been blinking when I'm using the computer. The layout of my computer has the phone behind the laptop's screen.

So I'll stare at this LED daring it to blink when I'm not looking elsewhere but it remains steadfast with its glow. Sure it's an optical illusion but deep down I think it's fucking with me.

weird growth

Near the base of my skull, on the left side, is a weird growth. It feels like it could be a pimple or a really squishy scab. I'm afraid it might be a mole and potentially cancerous and removing it could release those pathogens into my blood, infect my pancreas then six months later my bones are being buried in raddidge's secret graveyard with my meat being distributed to the coyotes, foxes, bears and mountain lions out in Hartsel.

When I next see raddidge, whenever that may be, I asked her to take a look so I can find out what it looks like and maybe get a picture for here and my own curiousity. One thing I can be assured of, raddidge will let me know if it's malignant even if it isn't malignant.

In Yer Dreams

So I was going to write a story. A parody of the movie Iceman called Icegirl. This young neanderthal girl gets lost while wandering the tundra, falls off a cliff and gets frozen in ice only to be discovered many thousands of years later by scientists. Thawed out in an enclosure, paleosociologists are trying to learn about her culture and language. Since paleontologists believe neanderthals didn't have developed vocal apparatus like humans these ancient offshoots must've used a lot of sign language. Enter the young, lesbian ASL interpreter.

The interpreter tries to interest the icegirl with song singing Lavender Jane's "Lesbian, lesbian, any woman can be a lesbian". In the original Iceman movie, the scientist was singing Neil Young's "Heart of Gold" which isn't about a plot device in a Douglas Adams novel. The interpreter discovers that the icegirl broke off a large branch of a tree, rubbed one of the ends against a rough rock until the end was hemispherical and coated it with slick rivermud. Now there's proof that dildoes were around as far back as 23,000 years ago! Only when the curious interpreter makes a move does the icegirl become confused, escapes and goes missing somewhere in the frozen Alaskan wilderness presumably frozen again in an obviously short-lived glacier since this takes place in 2006.

Jaybird and raddidge came in and they took me out to dinner. We were up in Alaska. Our destination was a steakhouse that gives a 10% discount to Colorado residents. Why? I have no idea. Maybe there's a kinship between Colorado and Alaska or it's just my subconscious fucking with me. When I told Jaybird about my LambdaMOO screenplay, he said I was being "oblique".

I don't know why maribou didn't make an appearance.