Yesterday I mentioned how the company made a big deal about my performance in April. Today was the first event that underscored the fact that such an announcement is stupid.
As I'm leaving the building at the end of the day, one of my co-workers says "Hey, how about splitting that bonus?" It wasn't friendly nor did it sound like a joke.
Fucking leave me alone. There's a reason why I don't talk to anyone at work.
Another helpful hint, don't ever shop at WalMart.
We walked. We talked. The guy told me how he needed to walk to Africa to get his wife. I told him about how I'm so morbidly obese and bemoaned my declining health. He told me that we were able to walk through the air because of our love for animals. The love creates a magnetic field that powers the field. According to him, we were invisible to everyone else. We sank down to the ground to inspect a cat and her newborn kittens in a cardboard box. When she noticed us, we rose back to our previous height.
By now he had forgotten about his African odyssey and his wife. Now he was telling me about how we needed to get to Coney Island. I kept mishearing Coney Island as Cheyenne. The snow had stopped and we wandered into a building trying to find a way to the subway.