5/2/06
I'm invisible.

Unfortunately it's not the fun kind of invisible of walking through New York City after dark, howling like a wolf and saying fuck every other word.

Srsly, does my job have to fucking embarass me? Every fucking time I hit the ball out of the park, upper management makes a huge deal out of my performance. The month of April was a month full of errors, absenteeism and generally working slow. Turns out that I didn't pull any of that shit.

Three thirty, the HR girl comes downstairs and everyone's told to go on do not disturb and they announced I'm getting a substantial bonus for my performance even announcing the amount of money I'll be getting on my paycheck.

Thank goodness I have direct deposit.

Hell, they made a deal about giving me an extra $100 when upper management assumed I would volunteer for Labor Day when no one else was going to volunteer for overtime work.

Srsly this is embarassing for me. All I want is to do my job, be a tool and go home with my paycheck. I took the department manager aside and she told me the reason why they made a big stink was to encourage other people to straighten up and fly right and match my example.

Money good. Accolades bad.

I am using "srsly" with a sense of irony. Jaybird would say I was being "meta".

So now I feel a bit guilty about cutting out of work on 5/5/06. Especially since it's going to be tricky taking off on 6/6/06. Tuesday will have me submitting my request for use of my personal day and then on Friday I'll call in sick, playing hide and seek around Colorado Springs so I complete my to-do list.

I can't fucking miss out on 6/6/06. Such a day only happens once a lifetime. My parents and their generation copped out with 6/6/66 but that's four sixes! Best thing would be television networks playing The Omen and The Omen II. Man, those were great movies when I was a little kid. I really could identify with Damien when he's kicking and screaming as his parents are taking him to church.

• Emissions test
• Pay another year of car registration
• Get the tire fixed
• Fall asleep outside on the patio