Here's something that I've always found to be really creepy. Calling someone and someone other than the person picks up the phone. When I ask for the person, the other person asks "Who may I ask is calling?"
It's perfectly innocent. I can understand just a little bit if it's at a home number but at work? This little social phenomena always comes across like people being encouraged to spy on their neighbors or family members by an Orwellian government. It's spooky because most times the government doesn't even have to intercede with draconian domestic surveillance measures when most citizens will take it upon themselves to screen someone else's calls. Like it's their civil duty to be a busybody since they don't vote and try to wriggle their way out of jury duty.
On a creepier and more personal note, some lady applied last week and had someone else showing up under her social security number. I requested a social security card and when I heard back, she went on about how she's been trying to track down the person who used it to get a telephone number in his name. Being a tool, I asked to make sure that I couldn't give out the information about the other person. Obviously the answer was no. By the end of the day I was feeling guilty because I really should've just given it to her so she could get something done. Of course I'd be too paranoid about it coming back to me by tracing the email, tracing my legitimate usage of the stalker program and then getting me in big trouble. Dopey people at work looking up Britney Spears and Ashton Kutchner got dopey people into some trouble but heaven knows what kind of hell that would be raised by doing the right thing.
You wouldn't believe some people. When I use the stalker program at work, about a quarter of people have records for one other person on their social security number. Say Bob has 123-45-6789, he has a total of eight records but two other records are for a Steve. Reckon most times this can be chalked up to a typo or misremembering one's social security number. How anyone can't remember their SSN is beyond me. I've spoken with some people who say they have to dig out their card because they don't remember it. Uh, right. Anyway, about half of those 25% are people who share their social security number with friends or relatives or they simply have shit luck, someone stole the number and it was used in a way to leave a black mark.
This reminds me of a situation back in the olden days. The early nineties that is. I was working nights at a liquor warehouse loading trucks then going to school during the day. One guy was mouthing off about how he was working there with a fake SSN while collecting unemployment using his brother's social security number. He was only a temporary employee, hired for the Christmas season, but I found that to be unbelievable.
What's sad is the fact that I've trained myself not to have any conscious short-term memory at work. Remembering other shit from prior applications ends up being a liability than an asset. All I need to know is that no one else has the same email address, home address, home telephone number and everything is valid with the various directory assistance tools and the stalker program.
Things aren't so bad with my memory, and I know you're sincerely concerned gentle reader, because I've finally committed Brian's cell phone number to my memory after nearly five years. I've been lax, partly "out of sight, out of mind" and partly being really fucking selfish. If Brian ever reads this, I sincerely apologize but I did call you on Thursday around 7:30 p.m. EDT and left a message stating that I finally memorized your cell number!
There was a parade taking place that would go from Millburn to Colorado Springs. I presume a spatial anomaly made this possible to happen within the span of three hours. I drove around and around between Millburn and Colorado Springs looking for a parking spot. Most of the streets were closed off for the celebration which meant parking was at a premium. Turns out that I could park a mile away which was alright by me.
This parking spot was along a rural road with thick, eastern forest on either side. Eastern forest is different than Colorado forests because of all the broad leafed trees, bamboo, thick underbrush and whatnot instead of sparse conifers and evergreens with the odd stand of aspens. I parked, walked halfway to the parade site when I realized I forgot something. I headed back only to discover that there were three parking tickets on my car!
Along this stretch of road there weren't any signs declaring it as off-limits to parking, hidden or otherwise. In fact the only street where parking was forbidden was perpendicular to the road where I had parked my car. Two gay cops, I know they were gay because they were making out in their squad car, started on me saying I was wrong and if I continued to defy them that they'd arrest me and throw me in jail making me miss the parade. That's about the time I forced myself awake and felt relief it was only a dream.
