July 2006

7/9/06
Five years ago, on this day, Brian and I left New Jersey and drove nonstop until we reached the ass-end of Indiana near midnight.

patience plz

Man, people really do mean well but they seem awfully pushy. On Friday, Connie at Denny's asked me about raddidge and remarked that she got married after knowing her husband for two years. Over at the Birdhouse on Friday Jaybird reminded me of the brevity of his courtship of maribou then elmgrows let me know he was betrothed in six months.

I said that we're taking our time. Brian and Deanna are only recently engaged and they've been living together for ten years. Most likely the wait is due to Deanna and various financial aspects but they still took their time.

work shit

All week, I was the only person in the office who actually busts his ass and gets things done. Everyone else went along at their own pace, some of them slower than usual. The other woman who's the top processor has been out of the office since Monday afternoon.

I found out why, she was having serious back pain. Goodness, it's almost an epidemic.

Then I found out that she's not going to be in all next week because she's going to be on vacation.

My blood began to boil.

I come in all week experiencing excruciating pain, without prescription drugs or health insurance just aspirin and icy hot, but she gets to stay home all week? Fuck, the department manager kept asking me about my back and said I could go home if I wanted to go home but I declined the offer. Work has picked up and I can't expect the other jokers at work to get anything done. Plus the politics would end up making me into a scapegoat where management would say that I abandoned them and left them swamped with applications. All the other slow people would give me the hairy eyeball because they depend on me to pick up their slack.

Surprise, I'm not picking up their slack. I just work very fast at a very simple job. It's incidental that they benefit in one fashion or another by my presence and work.

Even more annoying, the company called her to come in for a brief meeting on Wednesday. She came in, bearing an unplugged heating pad, walking normally and spent thirty minutes in the department manager's office with the door closed. Hopefully she got chewed out over the situation and that I was brought up that I still came in despite my discomfort.

Next week? Who knows. Maybe work will slow down only to pick up again when the other top processor returns on the seventeenth.

game? what game?

maribou came down with a serious stomach bug. I was going to come over and monopolize the Birdcomputer for an hour or so then tinker around on my own. She told me that she didn't want me in so I couldn't get sick. Friday afternoon I got a voicemail from Jaybird saying the game is cancelled and an hour later there's a message from maribou that I figured was just a reiteration that the game was cancelled.

maribou's doctor said that whatever was vexing her alimentary canal had run its course but left it ravaged of enzymes and beneficial bacteria. maribou phoned again around 5:30 to let me know the game is on.

Since my week was particularly stressful, I got a six pack of Guiness Extra Stout and went to the game prepared to get drunk with Jaybird. elmgrows, the game master, arrives and then gets a call about family politics involving his son which upsets him to no end. Everything's off to a great start.

Now there were a few false starts because we were trying to get our bearings and remind ourselves where we left off after the last game a whole month ago. But I was drunk after three bottles and rambling on about stupid shit. maribou was resting on the couch out of habit and wanting to take care of herself. Jaybird was quiet and listened to me talking with elmgrows.

Half past midnight, there has been no game and there won't be a game for another two weeks.

Either way, it was a pleasant enough evening.

In Yer Dreams

elmgrows, the gentleman who runs the biweekly Friday game, announced to the world that he has three testicles. He went on to explain that if anyone happened to examine him, it'd look completely normal. The secret is that there's always one testicle kept in reserve in his body and after a period that testicle drops and swaps with one of the danglers. I named him Enorches (look it up) and advised him to get into bukkake porn. elmgrows explained that he doesn't have three prostates only three testicles.
"Since when do porn aficionados give a shit about biological science?"

So I walked back home on a bright and sunny day. A block away from my apartment is the big blue house. Notable thing about the house is there are a bunch of rowdy, unaligned college kids living there. At least I believe they're not in a frat or sorority. They're rowdy because they would sing a stupid song really loud in the dead of night about Friday being a fucking day and Monday is a working day. Durrr, I thought these kids were going to college to learn things that are common knowledge?

Joy of joys, turns out that my sister bought the house thereby exiling the punks to the mystical land of "someplace else". One good thing about my sister living there is that there was a radius of free, wireless internet connectivity. I went in her place and gave my usual announcement.
"Now you live in Colorado. No more than 500 feet away from me. When do you see me or come around to say hello? Never! Why the fuck are you out here?"
That's about the time we'd get into a shouting match which was quickly followed by our retreating to our own corners to take a breather. So I futzed around on the internet for a while then took my leave since I had to get home.

Crossing Yampa were three of the tallest women I've ever known. Even stranger is the fact that they resembled Sarah Dean from my college days. Sarah was the assistant arts and graphics editor and has been successful pursuing a career in art. I don't think she was five feet tall. The triplets weren't precisely identical since each one was three inches shorter than each other.

The backyard was full of snow. It was so wet and thick that the three clotheslines were able to hold up a sheet of snow. Nestled against the tree was a giant, glass milk bottle. I never knew there was a milkman, not that I could take advantage of the product, but upon closer inspection it was a parent bottle. When kids are away at college they have bottles to leave outside. Someone collects them in the night and returns them to their parents who put money, stupid electronics or food to help their kids survive their stay.

When I went inside my apartment, I woke up to Spot licking my arm.

spottles

Spot seemed so intent on licking me, as if she had another agenda, I became concerned and got up. Her insistence reminded me of my sister who has become the harbinger of doom. My sister woke me up the first time the twin towers were bombed and she woke me up on the second, successful attempt.

I haven't checked the news but I'm certain everything is okay.