Valentine's Day always feels a little sad. Not for anything like loneliness or love or any other cliched bullshit. Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth and I was a little kid my parents were looking to adopt a dog. The one dog they ended up choosing was a husky-german shepherd mix we named Valentine. He was very territorial. One time I tried to get him to jump on my bed, I ended up pulling him onto the bed and he whined and jumped off the bed like it was molten lava burning his paws. Plus he picked on my sister.
At the time, I didn't see what was wrong with that yet that's the thinking of a ten year old. If he stayed around, he could've ended up mauling her and that would've been bad. My father says that Valentine found a new home. I hope that's the case and the new home was a good home.
As luck would have it, she found an amulet which realized one of her deepest desires to be male. By the time she reached Medusa's island, he cursed himself for not having a means of levitation. Fortunately he did polypile an amulet of magical breathing but that meant ditching his rustables and dilutables and blankables on the far shore while he marched towards Medusa. A highly enchanted Excalibur and respectable strength, which was most likely enhanced by becoming male, made short work of the foul gorgon. When he destroyed Perseus's statue, there weren't levitation boots.
Two levels later was the castle. Still no levitation. Now it was a mechanical process of kicking sinks and quaffing from every fountain in hopes that a sink would cough up a ring of levitation or that there would be another friendly water demon who would grant a wish. Long story short, a throne granted a wish for a topaz ring which made Ilsa the male valkyrie's life a bit easier.
The quest for the Orb of Fate was uneventful, Lord Surtur fell quickly to Ilsa and he returned with the Bell of Opening and her artifact. During her travels, he found a blessed scroll of genocide which took care of all liches. Deep in one of his bags of holding was a magic marker which quickly created a cursed scroll of genocide. A few levels below a temple to Tyr was a temple to the chaotic Loki.
Standing in the temple, he reverse-genocided white unicorns, killed one and sacrificed the corpse to Loki irrevocably changing his allegiance to the trickster. After all, what did that stodgy old Tyr ever do for him?
Ilsa, the chaotic male valkyrie stands before the castle. Somewhere within its halls is a wand of wishing, raddidge says that wishes are cheating, which will virtually ensure Ilsa's successful ascension. Although he has broken every conceivable conduct, except wishing for artifacts, the act of abandoning his old philosophy and growing a three piece set more than makes up for those transgressions.
