Jaybird and maribou told me about a good burger place in downtown Colorado Springs. Jaybird went on and on about how he'd go there back in the day and they always had the best food. it was a sunny and beautiful day in downtown Colorado Springs. What stood out about this oneiric version of Colorado Springs was the fact that there were many more deciduous trees with broad leaves leaving dark, cool shadows rather than conifers and thin leafed acacias. I waddled down and eventually found Paola's Place. There was a spiked, wrought iron fence surrounding the patio, a girl dressed like Jack Sparrow behind a bar and lots of really WASPy people eating lunch. Right above the door and below the giant Paola's Place sign was a smaller sign that said "Wendy's". The Birds were nowhere to be found. So I sat down and waited for a waitress.

And waited.

And waited.

Completely ignored by the staff. That's when two wrestlers appeared and started throwing each other around for the sake of patrons. Things started to go badly when one of them threw the opponent against the wrought iron fence. Back of his head got caught on a spike sending up a spray of blood. Fortunately he got back up and back into the fray but the battle just became more furious and bloody.

"Jaybird'd really like this." I thought as I walked back in hopes of finding a bathroom. That's when I heard two familiar voices. The Birds were already there, eating in the restaurant and watching one of the establishment's TVs. Eventually they acknowledged my presence and I approached them. Figured if they didn't look for me at first, they didn't want to see me but they made polite conversation until I couldn't hold it in any longer. Jaybird bemoaned the fact they haven't been the same since they sold out.

Walking into the bathroom took me to another corridor. In front of me were the men and women's bathrooms but at either side of the hall were other bathrooms. On my left was a bathroom set aside exclusively for furries. I was in luck, I brought along my camera and I could take pictres to post on the internet and cry that society was collapsing because furries were being recognized.

Back outside it was snowing, blustery and cold. raddidge was waiting for me in my car, a little red Volkswagen Rabbit. Plus I wasn't in Colorado Springs anymore but Aspen. We drove around talking about when the final plague comes to wipe out humanity that we'll get a place in Aspen, how I'll go into a dead real estate agent's office and leave a dollar bill on her desk and promise to pay a penny a month every month for thirty years to cover my mortgage. Our conversation continued in a little luncheonette populated by folks I know by sight who work at the King Soopers on Uintah.

With our stomachs full, we did some window shopping and sat down on a stoop. We had the bright idea to crank call some guy in Russia saying we wanted to defect. The guy we ended up calling was a minor character in a book that raddidge was reading. On the back cover was a caricature that showed our victim but when the book was tilted, he magically became a cartoon Stalin.

"I want to defect" I said with my worst imitation of a Russian accent. Logic said if I couldn't speak the language, they'd be able to understand me with an accent transcending linguistic barriers. Our mark was overjoyed and wanted to know the reason. "Too much freedom. It is too beautiful out here."

Suddenly he started asking all kinds of questions to find out the Republic's secrets. Instead I gave him a course in basic political science about the three branches of government, the two houses of the legislature and how Sandra Day O'Connor was the first female Jusice. Hardly state secrets but he was enraptured and probably imagining the medal that would be bestowed upon him by the KGB.

The dream ended and I woke up.