I am not pleased that Pluto is no longer considered a planet after the IAU finalized the definition of a planet. This is a minor event and as always I can see many implications. It is due to inertia and nostalgia that I will continue to consider Pluto as a true planet. The IAU has made its decision and apparently it's final and not up for public debate.
First I will admit the fault in my thesis lay in the provincial belief that the Republic is important in the grand scheme of things.
Recently there was a report stating that citizens of the Republic are near the bottom of the list of countries which do not accept the theory of evolution. Turkey is lower and is ranked dead last in acceptance of the theory of evolution. Plus there was a fiasco about the Republic's Department of Education omitting evolutionary biology from a list of subjects eligible for federal grants. Let's not mention the fact that George W. Bush isn't the most intelligent or broad-minded of presidents who have reigned over this country. Moreso fundamentalist Christianity and other sects are spreading like cancer undermining compassion, education and secular politics like an Al-Qaeda cell. On the grammatical front the English language as it is taught within the Republic's public school system does not acknowledge the extraneous, silent u which is used in terms like 'color', 'honor' and other terms.
Finally let us not forget that imperial measures are commonplace while the metric system is deprecated within our borders much to the amusement of "the rest of the world".
Now that Pluto is no longer considered a planet by the International Astronomical Union there have been a few critical articles about the definition. Thankfully most are tongue in cheek. At the moment, barely three days later, conventional wisdom seems to say that within the Republic Pluto will still be considered a planet. Yet just like evolution, science teachers will be advised to say that there are other cromulent theories posited by arrogant foreigners.
Yet another cause for the greater part of the global community to laugh at the Republic. Sure Pluto is a planet. Also Iraq had WMDs and our planet is only six thousand years old.
Earth has near-earth objects, the most notorious being 99942 Apophis, which cross Earth's orbit and may strike the planet. Our orbit is far from being cleared of such celestial debris. Has there been a thorough and complete survey of Pluto's orbit to say with any certainty that the orbit is cluttered with potentially hazardous objects?
Let's step outside of our solar neighborhood and consider our neighbor Tau Ceti. Only twelve light years away it's pretty close to being like our sun except it's a little more orange and smaller than our star. One of the interesting features of Tau Ceti's system is the fact that it's positively cluttered with rubble. Any rocky planets would be constantly at risk, moreso than Earth with its near-earth objects, of collision and catastrophe. Should these planets meet the other criteria of the definition they still would not be considered as having "cleared the neighborhood around its orbit" even if they are the size of Mercury (which is now the smallest planet in our solar system, not Pluto).
Then they came for Pluto but I did not speak out because I was not a dwarf planet.
Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.
French President Jacques Chirac and former Chancellor of Germany Gerhard Schröder have lambasted the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and the USA for stubbornness regarding the mission calling for harsh sanctions which would effectively create an embargo of shipments of hydrocarbons from Saturn's largest moon Titan and jovian tritium necessary for the USA's nascent fusion research. Chirac was quoted as saying "The United States of America has no place to treat the obsolete planet Pluto as a member of the solar system. Not only does their national astronomical policy undermine the efforts of Earth's greatest minds but it also supports the governments of distant rogue planets which are known havens of interplanetary terrorism."
The plainspoken President, George W. Bush, declared that the USA will not bow down to international pressure. "Our mission is a peaceful one. It is only through exploring our solar neighborhood and visiting strange new worlds can we spread the Word of Christ to the needy and poor."
On Sunday night the EU has mobilized its military to launch anti-probe missiles to destroy the New Horizons orbiter and prevent any survey of the former ninth planet. The New Horizons mission was launched on January 19th, 2006 and is currently passing through the asteroid belt. NASA is hopeful that the asteroid belt will thwart the EU's missiles and ensure New Horizons's approach of Pluto in 2015. Noted conspiracy theorist and proponent of MIPs, raddidge, has been quoted as saying "WRONG. Earth will be destroyed three years before it reaches Pluto."
Prague's famous golem was unavailable for comment.
