4/14/06
My camera is also a miniature digital video recorder. This has taught me a valuable lesson, I have a terrible voice and I'm morbidly obese. When I'm at home, in bed, Spot is the little tittering creature who kept Jabba company in his palace. I wouldn't feel so bad if I was actually in a palace. What is it with my voice? Obviously, my testicles have dropped but my brain forgot to tell my larynx.
My camera is also a miniature digital video recorder. This has taught me a valuable lesson, I have a terrible voice and I'm morbidly obese. When I'm at home, in bed, Spot is the little tittering creature who kept Jabba company in his palace. I wouldn't feel so bad if I was actually in a palace. What is it with my voice? Obviously, my testicles have dropped but my brain forgot to tell my larynx.
Plus I almost got something really cool in the video but when I thought I was pointing it, surreptitiously of course, at these two chicks in bikini tops at Safeway the camera wasn't anywhere near them. Of course when I was heading to check out, one passed and asked if I took any pictures of her or her friend.
"Nope, just taking a video for my folks back home."
"Where you from?"
"Jersey."
"Where?"
"Union county. Twenty minutes from the city. You from Jersey?"
"Jackson."
And I made like I had to get the fuck out of Dodge. I was smooth and I was subtle, as subtle as a waddling walrus grunting over the ice.
Either way, vanity made me delete the video and maybe I'll get around to it at another time.
In Yer Dreams
Everything seemed so real to me. I had the discovery of the century because I was in possession of an ancient Roman text that made a comparison to an armadillo! Armadillos are only found in the New World, that's the United States of America to you and me. When I got out of bed I kept trying to remember where I put the text or where I had originally read about this bit of apocrypha.
