10/9/05
spivak and Spot were driving through the night. spivak sighed, "The world needs more kittens."
Spot said, "The world needs more people who will love kittens."
And spivak was enlightened.

I know that Jews use fake bacon bits on their salads. I've never heard of any Muslims doing the same thing but they tend to be scarcer than hen's teeth even near the eastern metropolis.

First, how do Jews and Muslims know that the bacon bits actually taste like bacon?

Since it may (see prior note) taste like bacon, is it considered a sin to even look at it because of its association with pigs?

The cough which has been plaguing me for a month is very strange. When I talk, I start coughing. The frequency of and intensity of coughing gets worse when I speak. If I shut the fuck up, I'll have a tickle in my throat.

I wish this would go away.