I am so happy that I took off from work this Friday. Work has become frustrating, almost everyone in the company has been under a fucking microscope. Attached to the monthly reviews was a memo stating only one person would be getting a bonus because there were too many errors on the part of the processors.
Yours truly only had one error, a loan was set up for less than seven days. Other folks had about 5-6 errors a piece.
Aren't you glad that you didn't ask me?
Last night I dreamt about Alaska. There have been a few dreams that have taken place in Alaska.
The beginning of the dream had me getting into an argument with one of my sister's former friends. This guy has a sad story, got into drugs, ended up dating a girl who might have HIV from intravenous drugs and wanders around my hometown like a Colorado Springs park rat. Unfortunately there aren't many viable opportunities available back east. Jerry kept following me around, trying to bum change or smokes and this stoked my desire to put him out of his misery.
I snapped, whipped around and grabbed him by the neck. Five minutes later I had beaten him against the wall of the firehouse and the sidewalk until he wasn't moving anymore. No terror about being caught, no regret, no elation at having put someone out of their misery. When my anger takes control like that it's frightening and exhilerating because of the control it embodies in me.
After wandering around the library I went outside and went to my car. The roof was folded in, the trunk and hood were open (that's bonnet and boot to you non-Americans) and all identifying stickers and plates were removed. The windows were bashed in, everything that could be stolen was stolen from my car. An unsettling feeling at having lost my identity boiled up from my stomach. This was tempered by another feeling, my conscience saying that I deserve this for what I did to Jerry.
My subsequent wanderings left me at the border of Alaska. I flew across the border, streaking over wrinkled hills and plains at night until I passed a few square miles of impassible hedges. At the very center of this estate was a modest, white marble house that reminded me of the ancient Greeks. The lights were on but I knew that I wasn't welcome inside until daybreak. I lay atop some rocks overlooking the Arctic Ocean watching the stars. A satellite came into view, a boxy piece of metal with four golden antennae, spun across the night sky. There was a nearby tavern with people coming and going but they didn't know me or care about my existence.
This dream had no instances of thalassophobia.
