It's awful strange, upon reflection, that I don't dream during the week. Most of my dreams happen near the weekends. There's even more reductive reasoning, most of my dreams seem to occur with the waning moon.

I had a job as a window washer at a colossal glass and steel casino in Las Vegas. The building was shaped like a tesseract. Every face was flat but each edge opened to the sky. Not once during my duties did I see the ground.

The glass was very sturdy, capable of supporting ten times my bulk and each pane was surrounded by a raised steel frame that doubled as a ladder. That day was the day my co-worker couldn't handle the job anymore and took drastic measures. He pushed off the side of the building and fell down into the roiling, dark gray clouds far below me. I realzed that the fucker was using my parachute and left me stranded on the building's side. Vertigo seized me by the testicles and I crawled around in hopes of finding an open window and safety.

Later that night I was getting people together to play in my D&D campaign. Everyone wanted to play an elf. Despite my reservations, I consented to an all-elf adventuring party. But I had a trick up my sleeve, more like a carrot to their horse. I proposed, before they began the character creation process, that if any of them could roll two eights and two fives on six sided dice that I'd give them a chance to play a secret race. The secret race being the race of dwarves who have holed up under their mountains for millennia waiting for the end of the ice age.

An aside about my dwarves. Their physique is like a normal dwarf, they all have a predilection for facial hair including the ladies. There isn't a taboo regarding being clean shaven since having a two foot beard would be a liability for an industrious blacksmith. Dwarven skin ranges from obsidian to dark walnut with bright hair that contrasts their skin being flame red or bright gold. Like a Siberian husky, dwarves tend to have heterochromia. It's considered unlucky for a dwarf to have black hair, matching eyes or to be unfortunate enough to have both. Those who have black hair will shave it off and avoid any societal stigma.

None of my players could roll the right combination even though the dice did have the number eight on a few of their faces. A real dwarf showed up and joined the group, midnight skin, fiery hair and beard but with matched eyes. The latter being the reason behind his ostracism.
Now that the group was together, I lined them up outside in the backyard so I could begin the game. The proceedings were interrupted by an individual wearing a Mexican lucha mask who was throwing flaming katamaris at me.