Sunday brought with it a minor scuffle between myself and the talented linguist known as raddidge. Apparently I'm incorrect in my pronunciation of various words like "often", "tangy", "haunted" and "coffee". Her argument stems from the way I was taught to handle a nasal palatal. According to Professor raddidge, one pronounces "tangy" as "tenny" not "tang-ee".
Even worse, she says the "t" in "often" is silent like all good women who know their place. Many hearty laughs were shared when she heard me pronounce the word "taunted".
A call to my parents for verification of pronunciation and a brief visit to Merriam-Webster showed that raddidge may be right in regards to "tangy" but "often" has two different pronunciations.
Miss raddidge has an issue with my side of the story and in the interest of the presevation of peace, I give her full access to contribute to heptapod.org.
Please note that heptapod.org does not condone or endorse the views of other individuals no matter how valid they may be in their social circle. heptapod.org does recommend independent verification of all writing, material and opinions by non-heptapod.org staff.
Later raddidge gave me a small, clear plastic jewel case. Inside was a large black widow spider. She told me about how the black widow spider was the smartest of all spiders and would remember anything that happens. "If you're loyal to the spider then the spider will always protect you.
The spider was the size of my palm with legs which were thick as a pencil. Her carapace shone like obsidian and I was horrified by it. She kept trying to escape from the box no matter how firmly I kept the lid closed with my clasped hands. Soon the spider scrambled out, I freaked and when the spider hit the floor I stamped down hard. Unfortunately I didn't stamp hard enough because the spider skittered away to parts unknown.
For the rest of the dream I was dreading the spider's return and taking vengeance upon me. To alleviate my anxiety, I was looking in every possible nook, cranny and crevice for the spider so I could finish the job. Near the end of my dream I came across the Oscar-winning wrestler who was standing in front of a refrigerator. Inside, behind the milk, was a squished black widow spider. He explained to me that the spider existed in two places at once. Now that the black widow was squished, I had nothing to worry about any black widow spiders.
I have no recollection of saying any of this. The kindly raddidge says that it's probably half-dream stuff that was coming out of me.
Sadly I know that radddige will say a single word in her sleep, the word varies, but I can't remember or stay awake long enough to get an idea of what's running through her hamster wheel.
