12/16/05
For a recluse, I really need attention on a regular basis. Note that I say 'regular' instead of 'frequent'.
recluse
Shit happens in this neighborhood. Kids from the clinic next door smoking in front of the house and throwing cigarette butts onto the lawn. This morning the SUV which was parked in front of my car had its driver side window bashed in. I don't believe the owner is aware of what happened to their car.

This is my one short fuse. There should be calmness and gentleness and peacefulness in this neighborhood. I'm not living in Newark or Elizabeth, New Jersey. Here I am in the southwest and this shit happens. Now if this was Newark or Elizabeth or Camden or Trenton or Salem then it comes with the territory.

I'm certain raddidge will read this and say that I'm blowing things out of proportion.

The only thing I want is peace and quiet.

I'm certain raddidge will read this and say attachments are suffering.

I wish raddidge was here. Someone I can talk to and who will give a shit and listen to me.

In Yer Dreams
The other night I was inducted into an elite group of shadows. The clothes very thin but lacked the texture which would make me paranoid about ripping them. Once I put on the uniform I became a three dimensional shadow. My hair and beard became featureless and black and any skin was simply a hole where light passed through.

Each member of the team was given a codename after various tyrants through history. I was saddled with the codename of Adolf Hitler. Most of the dream is a blur, consisting of my indoctrination and various seminars which made me understand the responsibilities and goals of these shadows.

One part of the dream stood out, everyone was called down to a boardwalk area to participate in a wargame. Everyone was provided their weapon, a six inch piece of metal shaped like a bow bearing three yellow buttons. One shot a laser, another fletchettes and another that simply marked potential adversaries. I was killed once but respawned looking like a shadowy version of Happosai from Ranma 1/2. From there I sought and found my revenge on my murderers.

It was a fun little game.

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