May 2002
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May Day.
M'aider.
Help.
I'll be doing the job thing again today because Monday and Tuesday garnered no calls.
You can't learn anything unless you do it every day.
Well I finished Proving Grounds of the Mad Overlord quite quickly, only giving a cursory exploration of levels six through eight because it's just so damned easy to head to the elevator on level one and use the other elevator to descend to level nine. Obviously that's where all the monsters that give good experience dwell. I did screw up once when my thief couldn't disarm a teleportation trap, it triggered and embedded my party in rock. I immediately hit escape then restarted combined with "restart an 'out' party". Much to my dismay they were still in rock but when I restarted them they were in camp mode which meant my mage could malor out of the rock to someplace safe.
Whew.
What's disappointing is the rom image has three games on it, Proving Grounds, Knight of Diamonds and Legacy of Llylgamin but there's no way to transfer characters over to the new game. I don't feel up to playing KoD because I got frustrated with that game way back in the eighties because the level fifty team I created in Proving Grounds of the Mad Overlord was teleported into rock and irrevocably lost. Plus Legacy of Llylgamin was just a serious pain in the ass to play because you needed a good team and an evil team or you had to wander around aimlessly fighting friendly monsters or letting them pass to change a character's alignment.
Plus I never got to change Heptapod's class into Lord because his luck attribute was always so fucking low. I made Spivak into a samurai but that was after a maelific hit him, poisoned, paralyzed and drained two levels from him. No fucking way I was going to get him from level fifteen to eighteen again by having him wander around. It'd be cheaper to switch class and build him up from level one with his previous fighter hitpoints. Sadly when one does a class change, the character's hitpoints only go up by one point each level instead of some whopping amount one would get from level advancement in their original class.
I thought about starting an evil party and tromping through Wizardry I but I'm seriously fucking burned out on it.
I've been using Opera quite a lot lately except I'm not that happy with it. Sometimes pages don't render correctly like trollaxor which is amusing sometimes but there are only so many times I can read a permutation of "Rob Malda and Jon Katz caught in Gay Lovenest". Plus I have the "no pop up windows" thing set up and that seems to screw up the browser because when I close out the browser and do alt+ctrl+delete there'll be a ghost Opera running that I'll have to kill. When I start Opera up again I'm greeted with the opportunity to restart Opera with no windows, my homepage or where I was browsing last. I always choose starting with no windows and the browser takes forever to start up once again. That's my only peeve with the browser and I reckon that kind of trouble comes with every browser. Hotmail doesn't work under Opera unless Opera identifies as IE but that's Microsoft's fault not Opera's fault.
Internet Explorer is full of security holes, even if it's properly patched and all the right boxes are ticked.
Netscape slash Mozilla sucks. It crashes and pages made explicitly for IE will seriously fuck up one's browser or current environment. Hurr, rebooting.
Opera is the best, next to Lynx. Disregarding my aforementioned peeves, I can't make myself pay for a browser no matter how good it is. Yes, I've cracked Opera and I've cracked it for Brian and a few other people back home. The upside of cracking Opera is that I don't have to see those terrible, mistargeted ads.
Blah, bored. Doing nothing of interest.
I've been dreaming but the union guys are breaking down the sets and the actors are going back to their trailers really quick once the curtains come up. Most likely it's because the dreams were mostly conversations. Only thing I can remember is this one guy who was my best friend was named Joe Nobody or Johnny Noone.
I had a lovely day sitting out, reading and then I came inside. Went upstairs for wrestling and was disappointed by Smackdown. Even if Hogan didn't win against Jericho I would have been disappointed in the show. I'm thinking of installing SimCity 3000 on the computer.
That's all.
Lately I've been fascinated by my bowels. I know that I've been laying some serious cable that certain feels like it will look magnificent once it's completely passed from my body. It's certainly a game of patience to pass a log of any length because pushing and forcing only serves to clench which prematurely pinches the loaf into the water.
I'm still pleased that I do have my shit together in one fashion. I haven't had a loose hershey squirt in a while nor have I experienced the wonders of tiny ploppers that only serve to make me feel like I had unfinished business with the porcelain god.
What is my goal? To sculpt something so magnificent, immortalize it in jpg format and submit it to ratemypoo. I wanna get a good score on the poo's merits, not because of the various action figures marvelling at it in the picture.
Something happened but I have no idea. I walked up to the top of my stairs and the door to the laundry room was open. Jaybird was sitting with his back against me poking around at the barbeque and didn't turn around. I had this feeling that I shouldn't bug him and went back downstairs. There wasn't a feeling of something dire having happened but it was just a really moody feeling.
This has amused me greatly, moreso than Monday's Maury Povich.
Some woman mentions on a public message board that she likes to lick men's asses. The woman mentions on the same board but in a different section about how a commercial gave the impression some yogurt product would be "tasty" and when she got it she felt it was "disgusting". Some genius, I have no idea who and it wasn't me (sadly because it was truly genius), says (and I paraphrase) "It's funny you'd complain about how something taste since you like licking men's asses."
That person was swiftly banned.
Good lord, this is a public board and this woman was hardly unashamed about her practices since she was essentially sharing them with strangers but someone pokes fun at her and WHAM! Censorship. Funnier still is the fact that her husband started posting and insisted on using SHIFT+8 encryption in a thread about licking asses.
Anyway what made me laugh on Maury Povitch was this couple. The girlfriend went off on how she thinks her boyfriend isn't the baby's father and it's this cocky guy who comes on, laughing, and confident that he isn't the father. Maury pulls out the magic envelope and the cocky guy was right!!! Unfortunately the boyfriend wasn't the father. I was rolling on the ground laughing at the whole situation and I can't understand why it hit me so hard. I snotted when the boyfriend went to hug the distraught slut girlfriend and she pushed him away all pissed off.
Ah, schadenfreude. Schadenfreude is enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Man, those Germans have a word for everything.
More of the same.
Maybe less.
Resumes galore. Mailed out two, faxed out a bunch, filled out a couple of applications in person and had a late in the day interview at six with mixed results. Once again there were a few jobs that I felt were dead-on in the newspaper but when I checked my voicemail at three in the afternoon there were no messages. I should be hearing back from one place who I did a touch-tone interview with and I'll be calling another prospect on Tuesday.
I have an interview on Tuesday and most likely I will be going to other temp agencies to see what work they can get me with my skill set. On Wednesday I'll go to the Pikes Peak Workforce Center and see what help they can offer me. I still wonder if it's my resume.
Know what'd be cool? Running a motel with a hidden camera in every room.
Just think of the media potential and blackmail opportunities.
p.s.
Two thousand hits since March 4th. Whee!
Wednesday consists of resending faxes. That's a given.
I went to an employment agency on Tuesday and did some tests in addition to applying for some job. Came home and set up two interviews, one on Wednesday which will last two hours and the other is on Thursday. Thursday has two interviews which is a good thing. Mind you the second interview on Thursday seems to be for the job I applied for on Tuesday except it'll be through another agency. If the two hour interview goes well I should be in training by the thirteenth.
I'm sick and tired of the job search and I'm hoping this is the last week.
p.s. I wish I could get fresh grapes around here. Lately the offerings at both Safeways and King Soopers have been pretty damned sad. Also did I mention this site received two thousand hits since March fourth? It's troOoOoOOoo.
Bah, I was only there for an hour and even then there wasn't that much to do. I have to call them back on Thursday to see what's going to happen. Perhaps Thursday will have good news.
I have a nice little town running in Sim City right now. The town's basic layout is a grid of fourteen by fourteen squares divided into nine squares, four by four divided by small parks. Everything's running on nuclear power and I have a good mass transit system. The city's aura is quite high and most land values are good but I really want to push them way up. This particular layout should prove useful in raising land values. Pretty soon I should be offered a university, just gotta wait for the sims to have an average IQ of 125.
My sims are hovering around a one hundred and twenty IQ and they're not going up any further for some reason. This is distressing. My sims are stupid, probably because they take after their creator (who has been kind to them staying away from starting catastrophes and just letting them happen naturally).
Good news.
There were no "truth" ads on Smackdown tonight. McMahon must be really trying hard to keep viewers by keeping away the visual poison embodied in those "truth" ads. Argle bargle, cigarettes have cyanide and so does my cheesy uncircumsized shaft. * * * *!!!!. Once those commercials come on it's time to see what's going on elsewhere on the dial then get hooked on something different from guys in tights.
I found work. Hooray or something. Why couldn't I have won the idiot tax? At least I'm making more than I did at MCI.
Bad news.
I have the shits something fierce.
Good night.
I've had one good blowjob in my life. I'd like to thank the monsignor for that experience.
Cheap shot.
It's still true, I've only had one good blowjob in my life and it was fucking amazing because she knew that the three piece set was a three piece set. No gobbling the head, no female's interpretation of "painting the fence" or gloryholing but just a damned fine blowjob. The other blowjobs were pretty much up, down, up, down, up, down, gag, 'okay honey move your head so you don't get a mouthful' or 'oh fucking god don't kiss me with that on your lips'. Whether they were performed by someone inexperienced or someone who had the sheer audacity to say to me "I'll get you off in two minutes flat!"
Ten minutes and a sore jaw later there's the muffled "You're just doing this to spite me" comment.
Let me talk more about my cock.
Sometimes I'm absolutely monstrous when erect or just out of a cold shower. Monstrous meaning "Jesus I need two hands".
Bravado aside, there are times where I fucking freak out thinking "Oh shit, I can't even get it up" or get scared because my brain's so damned horny but my dick's making a half-hearted attempt to stand for the pledge of allegiance. I must mention there are times where I am rock hard but barely have a fistful which makes me feel like a five year old.
What bothers me is that my nuts are always huge. Some have described them as grapefruit, others as oranges and once I had them described to me like a Great Dane. At least I have the good taste to wear shorts that LEAVE SOMETHING TO THE IMAGINATION rather than someone who wears shorts that let everything dangle out making Malyss say, "spivak, look over at Tim" followed by her trademark malicious snorting and laughter.
YEAH WHAT AM I DOING LOOKING THERE FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE???
Because Raisinhead pointed them out in the first place!!! What was she doing looking there anyway???
Anyway, nothing beats getting up (HURF DUH FUNNY PUN) in the morning and having that third leg feeling. If I don't get it up at least twice a day or if I'm unable to beat off at least three times a day then I think I'm getting old and impotent.
"If ahs gone be impotent. Ahs done dress lahk ahs impotent."
It's bad enough that I feel all weird not being able to go a second round ten minutes later or an hour later. After an hour it's a complete wash because my mind's on the computer or food or watching something on television. What? You're still here? Shh, Pokemon.
Heh, Pokemon reminds me of this marathon fuck session I had a few years ago after I broke up with Kinja. Five times in a night. It was during round one that I was looking around the young woman astride fat old me and I was like "Hey, I haven't seen this Pokemon episode before." For those playing along at home, the episode was the one where Meowth decides to learn how to talk to impress this girl meowth and how he eventually joins Team Rocket. Damn that was fun.
Funny thing is that while I was having my fun on that fateful July afternoon, Kinja was busy with her new husband and going through her "I think I might be pregnant" routine. What happened when she told her soon to be husband? He went to bended knee and asked for her hand in marriage. Now if I was in the mindset I am in now I would've laughed when I found out the news. When Kinja told me she was pregnant by this guy I felt bad for her since I was hoping that she'd learn to love being Kinja by herself rather than latching on some guy. Like I'm any better but at least I'm not married and I know enough to ask to see the stick from the pregnancy test.
I think she really was pregnant but she had femicological problems which made it impossible to have the baby along with the fact she's anemic from having no bone marrow in her leg.
Regarding work, I was offered pretty much the same job for the same money from two companies today. I hemmed and hawed and eventually chose to go with the first offering because it'd be casual dress. The choice boiled down to flipping three nickels and getting two heads and one tail.
This article is pretty cool.
Giving birth to and raising a son shortens a woman's lifespan by 34 weeks
No wonder my mother hates me.
p.s. I fucking hate people who use shift-8 encryption.
Blame is for God and small children.
Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.
How strange. I got a message from LambdaMOO about how spivak (#105570) will be reaped in three months if I don't connect anytime soon. I thought there was a reaping policy where one wouldn't be reaped for three months plus one month for each year someone has been on LambdaMOO. Hell, I know I've been away from the MOO for a month or so and never got an email like that from the administration. Maybe Tipheret's still pissy and self-righteous after a certain *anon post he MAIDS'ed back in February? Earlier than that? Who cares. Still it's probably some automated thing.
My new job's going to take me up Platte to Academy. This is odd because whenever I go up that way I can see far out to the eastern horizon. That sight gives me a feeling of elation like I can leave anytime I want to leave Colorado. A spark of what I felt when I drove two thousand plus miles last summer.
Today wasn't the best day. Hopefully by next week, early next week or by Friday, everything will be back in order.
Soft as your kisses
Tiny wings fluttering nearby
Cinders and ashes
Some things are sacred.
The sacred things in my life are social things.
In New Jersey it was gaming on Tuesday night.
Here it's visiting the Birds on Wednesday and Thursday.
When I tried gaming here things just didn't seem to work out for me. There was quite a hiatus but I just decided not to go because I didn't have money for gas. I never heard from James even when I did miss a game and when I have called and left a message I would not hear back from him.
Wednesdays and Thursdays are sacred to me. My evidence is from the few times I missed going upstairs and feeling this pit in my stomach of "oh shit". In my head it's earthshattering. They understand in the same way the Tuesday game folk understood.
Hooray.
Yes, I've been taking a swig of cherry NyQuil for the past couple of nights because I've been too wound up from real life to get a decent seven hours of sleep. It's dreamless but unfulfilling sleep. Monday night I was trembling so much I took a long pull from the NyQuil bottle. Thirty minutes later I was asleep.
It's not about quality of sleep but the utility of sleep.
Everything's done that needs doing. I'm figuring that for the next week or so I'll go into work at six in the morning and work to make up time and earn time since I do have plans but the plans are being made without permission or any real response.
First check's going to be used up quick but I think I will be able to make it through the first half of June. Various things need to be done with the car, plus there's rent and the phone bill. A telephone is a kind of bird.
I'm going to stare at the walls this weekend and go out for Judgement Day on Sunday.
My dream was simply about getting into an argument with the Olympics guy because I kept closing a gate in a wooden fence that surrounded the house in my dream. He wanted it open because he's "busy".
This is your life, Jack.
Men in tights jobbing in rings
Tyler is a lie.
I've taken to writing dates in the following fashion. 5/20/2 for today. I still stay with 5/20/02 out of sheer inertia. My writing style has become much less casual lately where I've been writing out numbers rather than using integers. Right now I'm considering dropping contractions altogether and writing out words in their entirety.
Judgement Day was quite good. Plus it was short, the Hogan/Undertaker match looked like it would be a half hour but it ended up being about ten minutes. Jericho lost as did RVD who should've won because he's more than earned a push than to lose to a no-name like Eddie Guerrero.
P.S. "Arriba la raza" is just as scary as "white power" but they can get away with it because they're not white and the people who would understand their cry wouldn't have an adverse reaction to "forward the race". I heard that a couple times, not shouted but as a farewell, at MCI.
Wisdom sung by you
Whatever will be, will be
Wishes are our lies
The other night I dreamt that I took Katie for a walk in Echo Lake park and she was talking to me. She wasn't talking in the way that I make dogs talk with "Hey! Look at me! I'm a dog! I'll talk to you later!" but she was truly talking to me. Today I had a sense of deja vu which I consider to be a brief waking dream which is why I am going to color it #FF00FF. The feeling was of instability. Was it an echo of my worries or a premonition?
Only thing about today was my humming Ode to Joy over and over again. The last time I did that was a week or two before I was fired from MCI.
You know, Google is a great search engine but this fucking sucks ass. This past week Google's been using Dilbert.
Why? WHY??
HURF BURF SNIPPING AND TAPING STRIPS BECAUSE THEY'RE SO TRUE AND JUST LIKE MY SHITTY JOB!!! HAHAHAHA JOKES ABOUT COFFEE AND USING -BERT AS A SUFFIX. YOU'RE RAPING MY MOUTH!!!
I just turn off images when I search the web with Google now. It's bad enough it's blander than MutantNemesis (which is saying a lot) but MUST IT BE EVERYWHERE???
huff
The following is not my dream. It's Devo's dream.
You were in my dream last night.. We were in the woods.
And it was night and we were searching for a cordless phone. Then we visited my brother and were there for a bit but I can't really put any of that into words. Later you turned into this story teller girl that was telling me about how her dad had killed someone and gotten away with it and were telling me the story by letting me relive the instance as you, the girl.. and alternating to her sister who she didn't care for.. There were....
was i still hairy as a girl
....excuse me.. there was a snow drift by a tree that looked like it covered a camping trailer or something and all the snow elsewhere was melting as you the story teller starts to show me the way it was.. Then I am seeing with the girl's eyes and she is riding a horse up next to the house, still towards where the trailer is.. now no snow.. but things are all wet like it had been raining a bit.... and... You still had brown hair, but no, you weren't hairy
and
I see and let my/your/girl's father know that there are some tracks and it looks like Indians... We/You don't seem scared and continue on around to the back of the house.. Dad is off to the left of the tree at the well and little sis is carrying water to the pigs....It is my(devo being told the story) idea that AHHhhh the murder must be of one of the Indians... Then there are some...
suits that look like they are way out of place and they are coming with a clipboard and complaining to Dad about the well and such.. You/girl tell me/listener (almost like it is in my head as the girl as well) that they are complaining that they can't charge us for water because we use the well instead of the city's water...Anyway, then I/listener knows that it is one of the suits that gets axed.. probably the annoying lady.. anyway... then...
go on inside the house to meet with your/girl boyfirend who is sitting in the living room with a lot of his other friends (they are all Indians) and then I switch over to the young sister and we are happy that bigger sis's boyfriend/etc. are here and go in to sit with them.. (I'm younger than any of them).. Then back over to the storyteller girl/you/me and we are annoyed at younger sister and just go on in and ignore her...
That's all I remember.
In the woods before, it was night and you were upset at my brother and I was trying to keep things happy and such. I don't know why you were upset.. not mad or anything, but there was tension there.
Maybe because he lost the phone
I'm too lazy at the moment to format that so it's blue and purple.
I hope I am able to have the money and the ability to take off July fifth to visit Oklahoma. At the very least I hope to have enough money to go out drinking after June twenty fourth.
Today my love for my alarm clock was rekindled after it saved me from a nightmare. I dreamt that I was leaving home, my New Jersey home, backing out of the driveway at night. There was traffic threatening to block the driveway. To my left was a yellow pickup that had some design on it. The design was something like flames, something like black stick figures. On the right was a blue Taurus (is there any other color they come in?) inching closer and closer to close the gap between it and the pickup blocking my exit.
Fuck it, I decided to shoot out of the driveway into the opposite lane and go my merry way rather than wait for the traffic to clear. When I was half out of the driveway the Taurus started picking up speed so I stepped on it only to be swiped from behind by this four door hatchback.
Fuck.
The Taurus hit me hard on the passenger side up front spinning and aiming me for the sidestreet by my house. In the rear view mirror I could see the hatchback stopping and the reverse lights going on. To my left the Taurus rammed against a tree and the door opened lighting its dome light.
Double fuck.
Only thing that I could think was "flee" so I killed the lights for stealth and sped down the sidestreet. About this time I realized it was just a dream but it just wouldn't stop. Christ, I was so terrified because each time I tried to wake myself and it didn't work I started to think the whole situation was real. The more real the nightmare became the more I thought about being in debt, losing my license and my father being seriously pissed off at me.
I drove up and down the mazelike sidestreets back in New Jersey until I figured that the ruckus had died down and made my way back home. Under the streetlight I saw my car was a deep burgundy and totalled beyond all recognition. The simple act of looking at the damage suddenly made the car into a junkheap. I'll never be able to drive it again and if I hadn't given into my curiousity then I'd still be able to drive it.
Again I started every single wake-up technique that came to mind to escape even screaming escape at the top of my lungs but nothing happened.
When my nightmare was at its darkest and I was certain my heart would give out from being terrified that my alarm clock went off with its high pitched whine with undersound of NPR's morning edition. I've never been so relieved in my life so I kissed it and whispered thanks into its speaker for its noble and selfless act.
Nice thing about my new job is coming home and listening to the BBC on NPR. When I worked at MCI I'd hear "Latino USA" or the gay show which is unintentionally hilarious.
you're so fucking special
i wish i were special
but i'm a creep
I'm in solitairy confinement.
Pretending I am living a life where I don't get out much to make up for the reality of not being able to leave my cell.
In the distance I hear the insane laughter of those unlucky enough to be thrown into dark holes to be forgotten for a handful of decades. My existence is a simple one of squatting in the corner wrapped in a towel imagining the world around me and the people who populate that world.
Oh. Hey Devo. Will you please love me? What? Could you at least tell me why I'm locked in here?
Jaybird, why am I in here and don't say because I didn't straighten up and fly right.
Brian. My brother. Tell me, is this all real?
In the end nobody's going to be talking because they all know what I did wrong that is so amazingly monstrous and terrible that they can't bear to speak those words even to let me know of my actions.
That's my hell. Imprisoned for a crime that I know nothing about whose nature will remain a mystery because it's deemed my judgement would only serve to drive me truly insane rather than being simply eccentric.
Please.
I can hear the footsteps. They help me keep time. Clack, clack, clack with a mirror finish along the concrete and linoleum floors that blood wipes clean from after nasty prison riots. Fine, they won't talk to me so I'm not going to talk with them.
Sometimes I'll break down and scream asking someone to forgive me for whatever I did that I know I did wrong but I have no recollection of committing any crime, sin or iniquity.
They just sit aside and smile watching me tear myself apart. A masturbatory gladiator.
Sometimes I think that my sin might be loving people.
Hey Devo, I love you. What? You're one way and you tell me because you don't want me getting my hopes or expectations built up so try somewhere else. I just sit here with my torch. Here I stand, heart in hand, turn my face to the wall. You're fine, you game, you're female and you read books and you watch cartoons. God damn, you're my Galatea. Pygmalion was insane too unfortunately his wish came true.
Hey Jaybird and maribou I love you two a whole lot but you guys are up there and I'm down here. I love you so much that's why I gave you the happily ever after (if I am a solipsist). Shut up, I know what I'm doing because if you two weren't figments of my imagination how would Jaybird know that Angle would do the wig and retard wrestling helmet gag on Smackdown! tonight? What would be the reason to bring back Hogan other than to relive my childhood of watching wrestling back when Andre was undefeated for years on end? I would've made Jaybird a writer for the WWF^H^H^H WWE but I want my delusion to be realistic. Mostly I feel like I'm being patted on the head with "Well, that's sweet."
Beloved Brian. The brother that I never had. A true friend who I embrace for knowing what I'm thinking and giving to me as selflessly as I give to you. I'm sorry I moved away but I know you understand why I had to move away and I do sincerely hope, because I can't make myself believe, that you know it's for my best and you want to see me do well.
I don't feel as loved as I felt last year around this time but I don't care.
I've done something horribly wrong and my punishment is to never know what I did in the first place.
In other news it snowed today, not just in the mountains like it did on May thirteenth.
Don't let the days go by.
I could've been easier on you.
One thing that I don't get is the whole "What if it was me?" point of view 'friends' take when someone isn't marching in lock step with good taste. Eat shit, why deal with possibilities like that? How dare you insult me thinking I would do something like that to a friend. Everyone else is fair game.
A Krispy Kreme opened up about a quarter mile from where I work and one of the supervisors brought in doughtnuts from them. Krispy Kreme is still just as repugnant as I remember them being back in New Jersey.
One thing I don't get about Colorado is the fact that full serve gas stations are rarer than hen's teeth but every supermarket has baggers. I can bag my own damned groceries. I know how they're going to be unpacked and I know if I need double or single bagging. I'm not about to fucking dilly-dally and keep up the line like some old biddy writing her third party, out of state check at the last minute then suddenly realizes she left her two forms of ID back home.
The other night I was finishing up exams in my third grade classroom. It was still the same institutional powder blue and the desks were the same except larger to accomodate adults. I had a feeling of great accomplishment as I left the room thinking "I aced this" knowing I had A's across the board. The hallway was dark and I thought I should go back and let the teacher know what was going on with the lights. The class was still the same, people, decor and mood but everyone was shocked that I did return. The general consensus was I was missing for four hundred years and in the meantime I missed out on various advances like life extention among the most obvious. Meh, life extention technology. What's the big fucking deal if one returns after centuries when the people who experienced it had to feel the terror of growing old until a scientist said "Just fooling! Now we can all live forever because I just found out how!"
There were two battleaxes in my hands, one being a spare and the other being the business axe. A melee ensued with someone wielding two swords attacking me. Each time I struck away his blow and kicked him to the ground thinking I really ought to hurl my axe at my opponent to finish this but I didn't know how and didn't want to hit the other students who were working peacefully and blissfully unaware of the combat. My opponent was eventually worn down and died of exhaustion. To my right I found a cardboard battleaxe which I did a practice hurl with and it flew perfectly. Still now the battle was over I decided to push aside one of the ceiling's acoustic tiles and hide the weapons up there.
Twin swords fell on me as I moved the tile aside and I grabbed both in one hand. This chesty woman was glaring at me as if that was her weapon. We sparred, her stare trying to pierce my mind and my antics hoping to draw her attention elsewhere so I could run her through the heart but we soon decided that our battle was meaningless and stopped fighting. That's when I ran her through the chest, pulled out the sword and showed her the blood on the blade. "See? I win."
I walked away to the far corner of the room and sat across the desk from this light skinned black woman who was scratching her belly. I kept looking under the desk to see if her heavy hangers were gonna flop out each time she lifted her shirt to scratch around her navel. Frustrated that all I saw was her belly I asked her to show me her tits and she did, rolling her eyes which only encouraged me to feel her boobs. "Wow, they feel like a white girl's titties!"
The rest of the dream was someone driving me back home in an SUV. Frustration mounted because each street which would take me home was under construction, destroyed by some natural disaster or unavailable because the cops decided to close off that street.
Lately Pikes Peak has been looming larger than it has been in past months. The whole perception is probably changed because now I see the mountain when coming home from work, dominating my view.
Last week it was particularly magnificent. One day there were a line of clouds that were thin and flat dividing the cluster of mountains and peaks but the air was clear above and below that nebulous meridian. Another day Pikes Peak was shrouded in constantly shifting clouds that was magnificent to behold. At one time it would be completely obscured and other times it'd come out looking much taller because of the proximity of clouds. On Saturday night when I came home from doing some food shopping I looked at the range and was surprised to see the sunset breaking through behind the mountains and clouds limning their silhouette with salmon and red against the gray blue clouds and darkening peaks. There was another time a few months ago, early March, when I was going to that brief game when I came out of Dunkin Donuts and saw gold and orange streaming from the unseen western horizon over the mountains. Plus there were shadows in the sunset making the sunrays resemble the Imperial Japanese flag.
I've been wondering if Pakistan and India will take each other out in a local nuclear war. I think it'd be the best since one country turned a blind eye to the Taleban and Al-Qaeda and the other has a population of one billion. Neither country can afford to feed or support their citizens but they can certainly afford to build weapons of mass destruction. The only ones I would cry for are the tigers, elephants, monkeys and all the other animals. Of course if these beasts become extinct due to such a conflict at least these beasts won't be defiled by the reincarnated Hindu souls. If you believe in that kinda stuff. On the other side it'd be more Muslims sent to their final punishment.
What's the upshot of such a conflict? Two headed brahmin!
Bored, but I have a plan.
I ain't tellin' yet.
I put a black widow in my mouth in my dreams last night. Her abdomen was about the size of a dime and I could feel her legs flailing all around my lips which made me spit the spider out of my mouth. Other people were eating black widows.
I wish I knew how many physical pages my site would be if I printed it out on paper. I'll probably figure this out by the end of the week. It will help to pass the time.
Things are looking up because I got money back from the government and it'll certainly help in the coming month. Right now I'm going through my voicemails and it's nice when the voicemails are almost due to be deleted and I go through the ones I saved and I'm not about to delete anytime soon. Plus I got a call from someone in New Jersey that I might know through my father but I'm unsure so I'm waiting for my dad to contact me and lemme know if he does know this person.
Good news. The Australian Museum will be cloning the thylacine. I'm hoping the clones go insane and begin a cross-continent rampage staining their soil as red as Ayer's Rock with the blood of Australian murderers who committed genocide on this marvelous beast and raped that continent with their fucking sheep that turned it into a dustbowl.
Either way, I'm pleased the thylacine will be coming back but will the thylacine still be the thylacine or simply a Disney version of how the thylacine is remembered through incomplete studies and observations without having habits they would've acquired had they been raised in the wild by other thylacines.
Oh yeah, the middle east and the current India/Pakistan situation is a good argument for having something like the prime directive. If the west didn't engage in its imperialism then these countries wouldn't have a clue about the atom and be stuck throwing dirt clods at each other.
Hi.
I worked a little bit on my Vampire game.
There was a test about work today which left me feeling very nervous like I'm in line to be fired and if I fail the test they're just going to let me go.
The Birds do not seem to be around, maybe I will see them tomorrow. I'm not going to bother them.
I do poorly without feedback, negative or positive. Actually the only thing I do or involve myself with in my life that I get relatively little or no feedback about is this site.
Bye.
May I never be complete.
May I never be content.
May I never be perfect.
Date sent: Mon, 27 May 2002 17:05:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: nosredna@lambda.moo.mud.org
To: spivaks@hotmail.com
Copies to: registration@lambda.moo.mud.org
Subject: Re: reap question
The program isn't up to date on the actual policy.
Last night I was sleeping soundly with the fan on when I woke up because I heard something going "tink-tink" at the head of my bed. I pushed stuff aside. I put it under the bed. I threw it across the room until the tiny ledge was entirely clear of stuff and after that I was finally able to go to sleep about a half hour later.
After that little fiasco I kept waking up in those little paranoia awakenings that would normally keep me from ignoring the alarm clock. I refused to see what time it was but the way I kept time was making sure it was still completely dark in my room. I know when there's light coming through the bedroom window that it's gonna be a couple minutes before I have to get up and leave for work.
I ended up getting banned today for a troll on a message board. Sure, I admitted that I was trolling just to poke fun at how hypersensitive people are to the cause of the emotionally unstable, lacking in identity trannies. My first post was "Either you aren't or you are a gender. Cut it off or revel in what you were born as" with a follow-up post that was a parody of my previous post followed by admitting that it was a troll. I only said it was a troll because everyone became so shrill and defensive when it comes to chicks with dicks.
So my first reaction was "Well, stalk these people and pull some vicious prank on them" but that passed way too quickly. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well I've been playing a lot of Silent Hill lately but I've gotten burned out now that I've arrived at the resort area. Maybe in a few days I'll have the gumption to play after all the weekend is nigh.
Considering Jaybird's glowing advocation of Chrono Trigger I'm going to start playing that on Friday night. I do have to admit I am pleased and surprised at the way Jaybird and maribou have treated me since I've come out here. Sure, I came out here because I wanted to be about six hundred miles closer to Devo but also I wanted to be out here with the Birds because they were cool online and I thought "Gee, I bet it'd take forever for me to get on their nerves!!!"
Despite a certain event in March which made things rough around here, Jaybird and maribou are the most stable friends I've had in a while. No, I'm not talking about they don't need to pop xanax and other mood altering drugs but in what I'd probably call resilience. I'm the kind of person who requires resilience in other people if they are my friends because I have this tendency to get on people's nerves with my drama and my moods and generally being me.
Just like Pinky was important enough to me to travel two thousand and change miles, Jaybird and maribou are that important to me to drive two thousand and change miles to live in the basement and visit them in the attic. Stompy loud-AOL-soundeffects Olympics guy is just atmosphere I guess.
Praise be.
I'm going to remove the link to Makonan because that page has been blank for a while and I'm gonna remove the 4allfree link button down below because they deleted my account for some unknown reason. Probably because I might've appeared as someone who rarely used the service.
What I think is funny is someone who would post about "I haven't showered in days" on a list would comment about someone's strange sense of hygeine or however it was put in that livejournal without a sense of irony. Pot. Kettle. Blu^H^H^H Black. I might have a fucked up way of acting around people, online or off, but at least I don't have an ass sideways view of how people should act or what constitutes treating people like friends.
You flake.
