March 2002 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 3/1/02 Whee, it's March. Goldust became the hardcore champion on Smackdown tonight and it was hilarious. The entire scene where that old fart Undertaker comes in to beat on Maven after Goldust leaves the ring after losing followed by Rick Flair coming in to beat the shit out of the Undertaker with a pipe. After that match they had one of their behind the scenes parts where Goldust came in asking, "Is he going to be alright?" sounding really concerned followed by knocking Maven off the stretcher and pinning him to get the hardcore championship. That was so good. Finally figured out how to make a megaroom. Ended up creating a little area on Ghostwheel where the highly unpopular mini triceratopses are kept with a full size triceratops. Nothing special but at least I seem to have the basics of building down pat. I just wish I could put some code on the mini triceratopses that would make them attack when petted, like a thirty percent chance. Funny to think back at where I was last year around this time. I was all happy with my new web design job that enabled me to work at home and only required a trip into the city once every two months or so, gearing up to acquire heptapod.org and the next month Devo was going to be coming out to visit me in New Jersey. Now I'm on my own in Colorado, Makonan will be coming out to visit me this month (20 days) and all that happy kinda shit. It's bedtime. I'm old. 3/2/02 I plan on doing absolutely nothing this weekend although I have to go to the post office lest I be labelled a cad because usually I'm much better about sending things out to people and this is more than two weeks overdue much to my chagrin. On Ghostwheel I tried to create a little battle which would go on even if there was nobody around in the little enclosure I created. I wanted to have the mini triceratopses preyed upon by a ten meter dire hedgehog with bloodsucking quills and tusks. The regular triceratops would have a chip on her shoulder regarding the dire hedgehog and kill it almost all the time. Turns out that the race hating reactor really doesn't work all that well on Ghostwheel and I'm not a programmer or inclined in that fashion. There's something good at work where the entire center gets dress down for the month of March because the whole center closed at a 105% in two areas which I don't recall or care about very much at the moment. Plus there are only nineteen more days until Makonan comes out to Colorado Springs to visit. If I just count work days then it's only 10 more days. I think. Yeah, two four day weeks followed by a two day week which is followed by a four day weekend set aside for her visit. One last thing about work is that I'm really trying to fuck around with things, taking my sweet assed time with calls and really not letting shit like "Duh, I just entered my number" or "You fucking thieves" get to me along with taping over the clock on the PC since it's always out of sync with the Rockwell clock. The Rockwell is supposed to be the clock people schedule themselves by and the PC clock is always too slow or too fast which can be annoying. If I don't look at the clock then my time seems to pass much quicker which makes work a bit more bearable. Time to read more of The Book of the Dun Cow until I fall asleep. HONK BONK I went out and had a large dinner this evening and brought home leftovers except that I have no one to give leftovers to in the first place so I have to eat cold leftovers instead of feeling the joy of feeding someone with four legs. Today I thought a lot about what I want to do with my vacation time that I have coming to me. Spend one week going around Colorado Springs and seeing the sights then using the other week to visit New Jersey. The only thing I can think about when I think of New Jersey is coming home and seeing Ben and Kate. I do hope they recognize me. That's important. As usual my dreams were strange. The dream I had dealt with being in some hotel convention room which was filled with toilets colored dark red, blue and green. I left to go down one of the service hallways into the bathroom where I found a giant purple vagina which looked like it was computer animated in the eighties. It coughed and started spewing out some gray gas which made people yell, "The beige disease is here!" Who screamed that? I don't know because I was the only one in that room. The purple vagina pulsed and dilated expelling a strange purple cat with an odd skull worn on its head. The cat's body was more of a body with no legs than a cat's body. The beast was terrifying in its simplicity, leaping about effortlessly and menacingly. At one point I hid myself behind a steel door but I knew even that wouldn't keep the cat away from me. Suddenly the cat was upon me and I wrestled with the damnable beast. I ended up killing the poor animal and the cat was no longer the purple demon cat wearing a skull but a regular gray tabby who said I should've thought first before acting against her. The cat died. I started running out of that bathroom, down the service hallway and back into the convention room which was still filled with dark colored toilets. I ran down each aisle, my hands grazing against the toilets, until I noticed the toilets weren't toilets anymore and I recognized the location. All the toilets had become videogames. Big ol' upright videogames from the early eighties. I had a realization, these were all the videogames that I dreamt about in my dreams but I could never play since my dreams worked against me. Each of the cabinets were unplugged but I stood before them all feeling so very lucid and powerful that I finally had my chance to play them all but in that feeling I didn't want to play them. Time for sleep. 3/4/02 Sometime around Sunday morning mountain standard time this site got its 9000th hit. Whee. That's about 750 hits a month and twenty five hits a day. Holy mackerel Andy my site is popular among a handful of people. Another night and early morning of postage stamp sized dreams which seemed Awfully Important (tm) but once I had gotten my brain conscious the memories I promised myself to keep had already wilted and vanished. I installed zope here at heptapod.org in the hopes of using their squishdot script to run a slashdot like site about LambdaMOO as an example for the folk running g4yd00dz.com how they could run a decent site but the fucker took up 60 megs of space and I only have 100 megs of space much to my chagrin. Oh well. I'm playing around with zope on my computer. Also spoke with Devo for a little bit on Saturday night and it was weird trying to convey the stuff about *anon and "gay d00dz" as an insult and catchphrase. As usual, the conversation felt awkward and things. 3/5/02 Today I got a 22 on a call, that means I hit every required followthrough, listened attentively and worst of all showed enthusiasm during the call. Most people get 21s but I got a 22. Motherfucker someone shoot me for getting a 22 and showing enthusiasm. Still it was surprising to get fawned over for doing a perfect call and I got a little card celebrating with my sup saying "Thanks for making me look good". Heh. Our bay used to be the lowest ranked in quality throughout MCI. There used to be this other guy who would get decent quality but he'd take fucking ten minutes a call then not make a sale. He got walked out for that. So on the drive home I was feeling good and I still feel good and I thought if I could choose anything to reward myself for doing so exceptionally for a super shitty job with super shitty pay I'd have to choose something pretty fucking sweet. I'd want to relive something and it'd have to be one of the following. One May long ago I was over at Raisin Acres on the weekend seeking refuge from my home life and there was this one single moment where it was Sunday and I was sitting outside watching the sun set over the trees on a blanket. I tried getting Malyss to lie beside me and wait for the night to come with me but she was complaining that her ass would get wet and it was cold or something so she was inside and waiting for me to come inside. While I waited there for the darkness to finish creeping over heaven's vault Joy came along and lay down beside me. Joy was Heather's dog who was a doberman / great dane mix and one of the sweetest animals that I've ever met in my life. While I lay there she just sat down and pressed against me for those silent moments. I squeezed her with my arm and she did what she usually did of putting her nose under one's arm to get the arm around her head. Sure if I had to whittle it down, I'd choose that single hour to relive but if I had my druthers I'd relive that entire weekend one more time so I could see Joy again and have her company and give Malyss's (heh, almost wrote her real name) mom a great big hug even though it'd only garner a "What's your problem? Thanks tho." look from her. The other choice would be to relive one of the nights spent mooching Cathy's pool in the cornfield and playing truth or dare and playing with the great big beach ball ending really late at night swimming in the sun warmed waters under the light of a full moon and off in the distance much later there's an amazing fireball crossing the sky with just the tiniest pop-pop-pop noise as it burned up in the atmosphere. All around would be the sweet smell of corn and on the pool's ladder would be drowsy bumblebees waiting for the first rays of light to touch them and instill them with new life so they can tell their stories to the rest of their hive about being in the darkness all alone next to the whales of a tiny ocean. I'd want that. And most likely I'd want to also go back in time and slip a piece of paper into my pocket saying "play these numbers" for one of the powerball lotteries where nobody won but the payout was substantial. Now what my mind wandered over to thinking about was if I actually gave my past-self the winning numbers for powerball (and they did hit and completely shoot down my theory that one could go back in time a hundred times to see the same lottery drawing but each time the numbers will be different) if I would be the same person I am today. What brought that on was listening to Jaybird and maribou talk about how if Jaybird had become a "man of leisure" puffing a cigar in a plush, red leather armchair in an opulent library reading burgeois novels and treatises by dead white men from the fifties that maribou probably wouldn't have anything to do with him because he would've been different in maribou's opinion. Heh, after rereading that it sounds like a fanfic waiting to happen. So I wondered if I did win the lottery if I would be a different person. If I did win the lottery back then but eventually I did what I did with Kinja what would I do and how would I handle that situation? Would I just go ahead and do it? Would the money stop me from doing that because I'd be afraid of hearing "I want half"? Would the money give me bigger balls so I'd just go off and do what I had to do? Would I not do anything with Kinja and never have that experience in my life? Yes, I'm a greedy and selfish fuck with a miserly streak. Keep that in mind ladies if you have an eye on me. In my defense I am a spendthrift when it comes to those I love even though it leaves me a pauper at the end. I dunno. I know if I won the lottery now that I would pay for Kylie to finish college and get her masters degree, make sure that Makonan finshed her education and became a midwife, make sure that Raisin Acres is in Malyss' name since Raisin Acres is a very special place and I would take care of whatever debt Devo has with the bank. As for the Birds, I'd get them another car and with the rest go about my own life where ever that may lead with whomever cares enough to share it with me. Of course that would involve me living someplace in a rural area where it's nice and quiet with dogs and a big ol' truck to lug shit around and do work living in a modest home. I'm going to stop writing now so I don't bug myself. Good night. I Lied. I stopped writing to talk with my father. I told him about my day, the state of food out here along with where I would like to go when I get back to New Jersey for a visit and how forgiving driving is out here compared to New Jersey. When I was coming home on Monday night I was going to take 25 home but decided against it halfway through pulling out onto Woodman then I did a fucking u-turn and went down the side road that's parallel to 25. Back in Jersey that would've garnered some stares and probably some self righteous guido who has a cop for a brother going off on "Hey whatchoo think youse doin' dere? Hanh? Dontchoo fockin' move I'm callin' my bruddah whoze a cop. Ey! Ey!" Plus I told him about the thing I hate the most when I take calls at MCI. There's a certain group of people who I speak with on a regular basis who are quite distinctive in their vocal stylings and personality. When I end a call I have to ask for additional lines and usually that question comes out of left field no matter how nicely I candycoat it for the customer. Among this particular group of people it garners the response of, "Haaaaaannnh?" which is said high up in the nose. Good lord I can't fucking stand that. What's worse is that one of my new co-workers who just got out of training and into customer service used that particular exclaimation to a customer. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my stress ball so I wouldn't give this person an angry stare. My stress ball is a mutilated wrist rest for the keyboard that's made out of silicone. Damn that thing is gross but awfully cool to stretch and poke and squeeze. Makes me wonder if it's made out of the same stuff they make tit implants. I'm done now. Honest. 3/6/02 So I got to thinking after talking with my father on Monday night. It seems like that I'm talking to him as much as I talked with him back when I was in New Jersey and the same goes for my sister. Every so often I'll speak with her but it wouldn't be everday. I'd talk with my father about once a month. Only thing that's changed is the fact that I'm not there in person anymore. Meanwhile... I'm in a pissy mood right now. Home all day and nobody's around to talk with online. Makonan's where ever she is. Devo isn't around but that seems to be par for the course nowadays. Kylie's out doing all her stuff. The Birds had a day that left them cranky as a cherry on top of their week and email was completely dead. Might as well check hotmail to see if I heard back from this one site, shower and turn in. 3/7/02 I think my apartment is haunted. The first day I was in the apartment Jaybird said it wasn't haunted because hillfolk like him have a ken for them thar kinda things. I've never really noticed anything strange around here until last night's dreaming. While asleep there was a dream about this redneck ghost in ragged plaid flannel, a crumpled baseball cap and jeans who leaned over a little kid until his nose went into the kid's cheek. The ghost yelled loudly and woke the kid up. It was pretty disturbing to watch. Later while I was still dreaming the figure stood at the foot of my bed looking at me with his arms crossed giving me the impression he was a forty niner who died in the nineteenth century even though he looked like seventies redneck trash who spat chaw and did red rocket on his dog for laughs. The ghost's face was the color of sand and the texture of sand, deep lines went up and down his face giving it unreal definition. Finally I woke up a bit from sleep and stared over at the bathroom which was lit by the nightlight that Kylie got me for Christmas. That nightlight's awful strong and glows green throughout the apartment and when I looked over at the bathroom I saw a silhouette going back and forth from the shower to the toilet and back. That's about the time I pulled the covers up over my head and tried to get back to sleep. Ugh, lately my stomach's been all sulphur-y and I've been burping up bad eggs even though I haven't eaten eggs in more than a month. I reckon it might be from the pizza I ordered last night but it's never affected me in such a fashion before and I've had pizza from this particular establishment in the past. Spent the evening upstairs with the Birds watching South Park which seemed to help their mood and it was fucking hilarious. Ended the evening watching Jaybird play his Wizardry PS2 game and went downstairs cussing under my breath because maribou was eating her hamburgers and frenchfries on a plate with the ketchup smeared all over and when I went to unplug my laptop (I was showing Jaybird one of my projects) I got fucking ketchup all over the bottom of my sneaker so I had to walk back home with one cold foot and juggling my laptop and a half full can of Dr. Pepper which I threw angrily at the methadone clinic growling "Fucking stoners choke on that parking in front of where I fucking goddamned live cocksucking rimjobbers". Jesus I can't fucking stand that, especially when there's one of those minivans with a TV inside of them and the kids and someone are waiting for their stoner parent to get out. Mind you, I'm generally in a good mood after work despite thinking for the first quarter of the day at work "I'm not going upstairs to see Jaybird and maribou. I'm going to politely call out and sleep twelve hours instead of the usual seven or eight." By the time it's past lunch I'm all wound up and then I'm nowhere near thinking about sleep one iota. Now it's quarter to ten and I should settle down for the night. 3/8/02 I hope and pray that Friday goes quickly for me. Most honestly and sincerely. I have one week to get through and then I can relax. I get through next week means that I'm closer to the arrival of Makonan and it also means I'm going to be dealing with a short work week where I'll be able to sleep late the days before work which is always a Good Thing (tm). TV was fun with Jaybird and maribou as always and I love them a whole lot even if that makes me sound so junior high. If I was being facetious I'd do my Wellsie impersonation. 3/9/02 There's one thing that keeps me up at night. It's haunting and eerie and I wonder and wonder and wonder what's going on but I'll never understand it. I was reading The King of Things and the Cranberry Clown and on the inside cover was a little note saying from X to Y Christmas 1995. Erm, if this was a gift and someone felt it was special enough to write inside of the book then why would the book end up at a used book store in the first place? Did the recipient die of cancer or something and the family had to sell all their worldly possessions to pay off the doctors and the morticians? By the way, mortician is a beautiful word. Did the recipient end up hating the person who gave the gift and sold it out of spite? Perhaps the recipient sold the book on the sly to spare that certain someone's feelings? I could stay up all night pondering the gravity of this particular situation. I think I found the quatrain that Jaybird likes about this particular book. Please bear in mind that it's based on a somewhat superficial assumption based on what I know about Jaybird. I'm sure maribou will email me with, "No, you're wrong" or "You're stirring up trouble again". "Is somebody there?!!" But nobody was. "Will somebody help me?" But nobody does. I checked Makonan's page, which she updated recently, and was pleased to see she's happy about coming to Colorado. I have to admit that most times I think she's less than thrilled with the idea or I just make myself more repugnant in her eyes with offhand remarks that I wouldn't bat an eye at in the first place nor would my friends back in New Jersey except Brian. ObBrian: "Jesus! Haakon, I'd like to come back here! You don't know those people!" Whatever I had wrong with my stomach seems to be abating despite hhsb's assertation that I have an ulcer. When I spoke with my father today I came to the conclusion I had a relapse of food poisoning from take out. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. The idea reminds me of a story in an old EC comic about a woman who wanted to off her husband with food poisoning but wanted to eat the same food without dying. She kept gorging herself on rotted asparagus until she could eat it like candy with no ill effects. Perhaps that's what's going on with me. Plus I haven't shit any blood which is a definite plus. I haven't shit blood since Blue Mars was released in hardcover for the first time. Five workdays until the visit. Counting workdays is better because those are days one has to fight through and there are fewer of those between now and then. Weekends go by so quickly that they shouldn't be counted.

Homesickness As a courtesy to the few patrons of this site I am providing a link which allows them to completely skip the following purple text (was re: dream). Click here. My sister had come out to Colorado Springs to see me and I was showing her the town. Colorado Springs was very hilly and more of a charicature of what a mountain town would be to a flatlander who had never been to Colorado. Big hills that go up and down kinda like San Francisco except snowier with big mountains in the background. My sister and I had parked over on the side of the road looking down at the main strip and at Pike's Peak when this little girl rammed the side of the car with her bicycle. I got out, grabbed her and the bike then started down the street trying to find her mother in order to get some discipline. I ended up at some bakery called Mothers & Daughters where this female baker recognized the brat and I asked her to contact the brat's mother. After a few tense minutes, I felt tense since this was a no-guys zone from the feeling I had, I just grumbled "You know if you just apologized this wouldn't have gone any further." The little brat scooted away on her bike without apologizing. I sat down and read their menu looking for something good to eat but they were out of chocolate chip muffins. So I went back to this pirate ship which was in the middle of an ocean that miraculously appeared near Colorado Springs and despite the snowy coldness the air over the water (and the water) was quite pleasant. Once I clambered onto the portable dock and climbed the rope ladder I checked the place out. There were people but we didn't interact. Plus I had a feeling Devo was on the ship but she wasn't about to come out and talk with me because she was in a coma down below. I did what anyone would do and ordered food for delivery. I ordered from this one place that started with an S. Swishies? Swirlies? Something like that, even in the dream I couldn't remember the place's name except for the fact that they served good meat and good potatoes. Soon the sun set behind the mountains and there was a loud thumping against the side of the boat. Food! I clambered over the side and looked down at the little half-barrel the delivery woman had used to come out. I shouted an apology that I didn't tell her that this part of Tejon was underwater and I was on a pirate ship. The bag that had my food was sunken in the water barrel and I wondered aloud if the food inside was wrapped in plastic or soggy all the way through while I clambered down to the rickety floating dock attached to the ship. The delivery woman clambered onto the deck and she was really cute, I noticed she wasn't wearing any shoes and remarked she had great feet. She lay on her back and I started rubbing her foot when I noticed she wasn't wearing any panties under her minidress so I leaned down and licked her perineum before quickly going back to rubbing her foot and saying unapologetically, "I hope that wasn't too forward". She grinned and spread her legs and imitated me saying, "I hope this isn't a little too forward". I climbed on and started screwing her brains out tearing her shirt off and grasping her tits and biting her nipples while I stabbed deep into her. The entire time we fucked down there she was in a foetal position most of the time whether she was on top or not, her ankles crossed on my back and each time I thrusted deep into her it felt really good but something strange about her vagina made me grow an inch with each thrust inside her. Throughout our spicy session there were distractions, mostly guilty distractions, that her boss was coming by to see why she was late or somehow Devo woke up deep in the pirate ship and was coming out to find me. We got very close to orgasm together but the distractions kept us from it so we went our final ways. By this time I wasn't hungry anymore. Best way I can describe the delivery woman is with this picture from a particular VoyeurWeb contri that was posted back in December where these two girls were doing nude in public and a car passing by caught the shenanigans then slammed on the brakes. The woman in the car came out and undressed to pose with them and is standing in the middle and looks a lot like the delivery woman in my dream. While I was asleep I was trying to remember who the woman reminded me of in the first place since she was so damned familiar. Only thing I can say is that the delivery woman was about my height and her breasts hung down a little lower with darker nipples. I'm so proud that I can remember what she looked like so I don't have to fumble with written descriptions. Later on in the dream I had returned to the shore of Colorado Springs for a Hallowe'en party. I knew that there were three nemeses going around. Ten year old boys with long mastadon like tusks jutting from their mouths dressed up like leather vampires. In the mardi gras-like crowd I saw a tiny figure, about an inch tall, zipping about leaving a trail behind which was the little girl that slammed against the car earlier in the dream. Somehow she turned into this little speedster and I caught her in a catcher's mitt. I felt really bad and responsible that I turned her into this inch long purple speedster so I sought out my three nemeses so she could join up with them and hate me along with them. Eventually she wriggled from my grasp and ran away so I ran after her. My stride let me keep up with her speed very well until I overcame her and squished her on the pavement. Oops. So I stuck my hands deep into my pockets and started walking away nonchalantly, glancing back guiltily every so often hoping that nobody noticed what happened. A few minutes later the little girl I squished had started glowing and reformed to her former car-ramming self in a sphere of silvery light and followed me blindly. Soon I was at the big Hallowe'en party and the nemeses were there and I confronted them. I related the whole story about the quiet girl who was now following me around, what she turned into and how she turned back and why I thought she would like hanging out with them. The three shrugged at me and there was an explosion that knocked them down breaking their tusks and I fell on top of them. The Empire had attacked. I wielded my lightsaber and started hacking away at these strange stormtroopers that had little sideways moons on their helmets, kinda like samurai helmets, that were running through the halls with blasters. The partygoers were running against the tide of stormtroopers and the stormtroopers were running towards me while I whacked them with the silverly light blade. Soon I couldn't take anymore and found myself cornered in the narrow corridor with only a closet to my left where I quickly leapt inside. My perception switched to third person where I saw all the stormtroopers gathered outside of the closet and within I was locked in battle against Darth Vader. After many long minutes I emerged with Vader's clothes and threw the helmet on the ground, sans faceplate, saying that Vader had run in fear. The stormtroopers backed away slowly and began their retreat. That's where my dream ended. The only thing I really took away from the dream was something I learned which struck me as odd. The battery on my laptop sucks as do most Dell laptop batteries and I can barely run ten minutes before I have to plug the fucker in. Throughout its life with me I've run the battery until it was completely empty of charge and recharged it to full before using it again. In the dream I learned the fact why my laptop's battery was so lame and weak. I never changed the two AA cell batteries within that managed the rechargeable battery's rechargableness. Damn, that dream seems like one of the longest dreams I've had in quite a while. So today I went down for a very late breakfast at the Utopia and ate and wrote down what I'd like to have and acquire this year like getting a new computer, a plane ticket to visit New Jersey, fixing my car's driver side door and get a better job that pays more. I'm all paranoid about money right now because last year I had to pay taxes because I worked for myself as a contractor for the NYC job and I am afraid I'd have to shell out at least 600 bucks total to the various state governments (three of them, damn it) plus whatever for an accountant. Stress ensues. So I gleefully play the grasshopper while the ants around me do their thing and frown upon me come winter when I come begging at the last minute for some kindness. I was thinking about when I go back to visit New Jersey that I want a little scenario to be set up for Ben and Kate. They're out for walkies and as they go around a corner or go over a hill on a really long sidewalk they see me in the distance and we all walk back home. Of course if I do go visit New Jersey I'll mooch off Brian because there's no place for me to stay in northern New Jersey. I'll be close to Raisin Acres and I can visit there for a wee bit maybe go on over to the Elmer diner with Raisinhead one time. I'll definitely want to go into NYC to see where the WTC used to be, go to Central Park (hopefully it'll be sunny) and then to Paul's Palace for food. In northern New Jersey go over to my dad's friend's restaurant and get some pizza and Italian food from Jolly's or the place in Union that my father goes to that's pretty damned good. As for my friends I'd like to go gaming, see a movie with Tim and Brian and Buddha then go out to the diner and end up over at the Moriarity house talking with non-Buddha Rob. Also visit the shore, probably Wildwood Crest sometime late in the day if it's summertime so I have the beach to myself and then go up to the gray skies of the ghost town of Asbury Park to take pictures of the place and maybe put it up on the site I'm building for my Asbury Park campaign. Even cooler would be to take everyone over to Asbury Park and show them various places then over the course of three nights run the Asbury Park prelude game for them. Maybe that's overkill. What the fuck. While I was eating my late breakfast I figured that I would arrive on the Saturday after I got my paycheck for the pay cycle then return early on a Saturday in California Springs so I have Sunday to decompress then take off the next Wednesday so I have an extra weekend after working a single day at my shitty day job at MCI. Oh yeah, if you want to read The King of Things and the Cranberry Clown it seems that Callahan has the whole story up on his website. That's pretty nifty. Saturday night was one on one gaming, I played my character Edward Blackwood the penitent stonecutter who has built an underground cathedral and wields a mean hammer. The game started when I met this guy Fallon who was going to be my assistant during the infiltration of the baron's dungeon. Down below there was a ghoul being held hostage who was going to be questioned by a bishop and he needed to be taken care of by someone. We sneaked down and I began with an ambush bashing this guard's head in then kissing the other guard telling him he was now cursed like me by the Almighty. Salvation could only be had by being penitent. They ran. Whee. Fallon did some weird Cappadocian shit which made a guard age thirty years in a matter of seconds. I bashed in the door and offered two options to the ghoul. Live or die. The ghoul chose "live" so I tore his tongue out at the root and kept it as a memento also to silence him. Fallon decided to set the dungeon afire while we escaped, I collapsed the tunnel behind us and we barely made it out to safety. For most of the night we rode to some rustic estate run by a Norman Toreador who hired us to silence the ghoul. She thanked us then gave us another quest, recover a lost tome that is passed from mother to daughter that she lost quite some time ago to some witch. I refused saying it was against my faith to aid and abet such learning which was blasphemous in the eyes of the Almighty. Eventually she decided that I could destroy the book and I just had to return some other item. At the end of the first night travelling to the witch's house we made camp beside an unusual lake where there was a beautiful redhead singing to us. We both felt coerced to look upon her and pay attention to her mystical song but I started reciting the lord's prayer as loudly as I could. When she realized I wasn't going to deal with her she went after Fallon. That's when I noticed she was really an old crone with pointy ears and an ugly broken nose. I sneaked up behind her and bashed her brains in with my hammer. About an hour before sunset we were interrupted by a sidhe warrior maiden who had come to avenge her water nymph's death. We parleyed back and forth about the nature of the Almighty along with how the fae are a quaint abomination which should respectfully die out now that the age of Christ has begun. Fallon engaged her in combat and cleaved her skull. The next night we arrived in the neighborhood of the witch we were seeking but I was distracted by noises and wriggling coming from inside my backpack. Three voices were babbling to each other and I had no clue what they were. Eventually we discovered they were brownies and because they dared stab my hands with their steely toothpicks I smooshed one in the bag with my hammer then dropped another on its head when it asked to be let go. The remaining brownie demanded coin in recompense for the lives of his brothers which we gladly gave him but he scampered off into the night. I felt stuck when we were just outside of the cottage until I decided to just go up and knock on the door pretending to be a weary traveller slash pilgrim who was being hounded by a bandit who looked amazingly like Fallon. The witch was actually hospitable (and hot) but my ruse didn't really go over that well since she figured I was kindred from the git-go. I babbled on and on about being a leper (my character's a nosferatu) and how he's going to some monastery to study and be accepted for what his spirit is rather than by his flawed body. I also babbled on about how I was being stalked by a bandit who pursued me when I entered this part of the land and around that time Fallon decided to knock at the door. I cowered behind the chair pointing accusingly at him while he said I was just a fellow traveller and touched in the head. The witch was seriously pissed and irritated at my ruse so we came clean about how we were looking for a cerain book. She asked "Which book" and shed some extra light on her home which was lined wall to wall with books. Eventually she told us how she was feuding with a vampire who stole the book from her. To get this information from her I promised that I would acquire a book of great power for her, something that would reveal the secrets of immortality, how to raise the dead, to give sight to the blind, to summon a wheel of fire in the sky to spirit away enemies along with dire tales of prophecy and the end of the world. Of course I never told her that I spoke of the bible. I can't wait to see her reaction when I give her this powerful mystic tome and she realizes that she's been had. 3/11/02 I had a very shameful dream last night. I dreamt that I installed linux on my TV and lost all my saved moo logs, emails and writing from the past five years. Just a Sunday, nothing more. Laundry, walkies, got money together for responsibility things and did as little as possible. 3/12/02 I'm not feeling too hot and I'm going to make sure that I spend today healing up from whatever's ailing my stomach along with getting a good night's rest so I can handle tomorrow without being groggy. Maybe I'll go out and buy some fruit and two twelve packs of seltzer. Monday night I went to Panino's and ran across Mother Bird who was there and we waved at each other, it was pretty cool that at least I know one other person and came across them in public. All night I was up and down going to the bathroom while my gut emptied itself of whatever evil ails it for about twenty minutes at a time with two hour spans of sleep between each trip. I made sure that I had a trashbag near my bed and in the bathroom in case I happened to throw up to avoid a mess like last time. When I did sleep I dreamt that my grandmother had come back from the dead. My father said his friend was driving a huge tank that trembled the earth sending everything below to the surface and that's why gramdma was back. Something in my head told me that someone who is ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety years old raised her from the dead with an ancient Egyptian mummy rite. The disembodied informant also showed me the best way to teach people which was having them interact on a four by four board with a person in each square. Each person would walk forward and interact with their neighbor before occupying the opposite places. As each person made their way to the edge of the square there would be teachers, who would not enter the square, who taught the students and the cycle would begin again. All of this took place in the shadow of a big sandstone sculpture which quickly eroded as night came over the dream. My grandmother was back and she was lucid. I never had the nerve to ask her what she remembered from the dementia that haunted her before she passed away but she seemed to be feeling fit. Grandma also had a look of sadness because she didn't want to be back among the living. Her house was exactly the way I remember it with the old fifties wooden cabinets, the white tile kitchen, the blue rug and wrought iron furniture of the den. Grandma still walked around with a walker but more for familiarity's sake than necessity. One thing that caught my attention was the fact that the fridge was full of food which wasn't for me. My grandma wasn't about to eat it since she was a mummy but the food was there and before I left her house one last time I stole a shrinkwrapped package of steak, corn and sausage. Before I left I talked with my grandma trying to get the last words she'd say to me to be "I love you". She was now attached to some beige medical device covered in tubes that cycled the mummy fluids through her body. Eventually she did say "I love you" and I shut the door before she could say anything else. One thing that makes me happy is my desktop's wallpaper because it looks so happy and the girls are so very naked. maribou says it looks fake and posed but she's a chick. 3/13/02 Rest. Need rest. Some people are becoming abstractions to me. Other people just make me feel odd so I rather talk with them when they want to talk with me. Fuck you, I'm self centered and right now I'm tired of putting other people before me or being considerate. I'm needy but that only matters to me. Raisins. I went to Chipotle tonight and got myself something relatively bland but filling and went to see if Jaybird or maribou wanted anything and they did so I got them stuff from there which was a happy thing since they could stay home and do homework and watch Wrestlemania retrospectives. Sleep now. Dad's Birthday Happy Birthday Dad, I love you. one hundred things, ripped off from someone else who ripped it off from someone else who probably ripped it off from antoher person. I'm fat I'm hairy I look like my father People who don't like animals or just some kinds of animals are brain damaged I've been having trouble with my gastrointestinal tract since the mid nineties ranging from shitting blood to my recent bout with foul sulphuric burps I regret Kinja I'm indifferent towards religion I'm homesick I'm thirty one. My life is half over. My job sucks I'm worried about my taxes I don't want to be alone I take it personally when people don't talk to me I like green grapes I'm not in love anyone right now I showed my dick off in first grade for quarters but I passed it off as "mooning" I doubt the people I'd want to read this list will read this list I love Jaybird and maribou. I'd go nuts if they weren't here. My life is one of contradictions Green and black is less a statement than laziness I'm indifferent towards kids I wish I was more like my father Hard liquor sucks I get my best erections when I'm sick or feverish Kylie says I put her on a pedestal but she's the most decent human being I've ever met I growl at people when they get in my way I feel like my body's falling apart with my ankle and my gut I can't fathom male homosexuality but life and let live and stop staring at my boner. You put your dick where? I hate people who aren't people first and force their minority-ness in your face with a "You got a problem with that?" I never had a problem with you but since you want to make some fad / lifestyle / belief structure the most important thing in your life I have a problem with you having nothing beyond that and being a fucking sheep. I don't kill spiders and I've refrained from harming insects for the past decade Used books that have personal dedications in them from the person who originally owned them are eerie to me. I write on the inside of books in hopes that nobody will sell or give away that book because I got it specifically for them. I'm pro-abortion, pro-death penalty and against hate crime legislation because its highly subjective. The best deterrence for hate crimes is social intolerance for such language and actions. Queer for a year is lame, especially when it's denied years later or chalked up to experimentation I'm unimpressed with celebrities I want someone to cook for me and only me, even if it's just once I feel like a fool because the people I know or I'm interested in have no interest in New Jersey and it saddens me like they also don't want anything to do with me I take three aspirin a day at the start of work I hate myself for liking people more than they like me Work wipes me out and I can't get anything done around the apartment I strongly dislike non-fiction I want a dishwasher I have issues with women because of my mother. If my mother hates me, how can anyone like me? I've never left the country. If I leave the country I'm sure it'll be on my own. I'm filled with piss and vinegar I smile because *7p will always be "the other list" Doctors are evil I wonder if there are any pornstars out there who do their job because they like what they do for a living instead of just a quick buck, free implants and a line of coke I know a little bit of Spanish and Esperanto Currently I'm reading Larry Niven's Known Space collection I want many opportunities so I can avoid doing or participating in them Everyone on TV is older than me I miss Pinky and Cartman Most times I wonder which people I know will just fade out of my life and it won't matter to them I love my backscratcher. Backscratchers are the best invention ever. My apartment is a fucking mess I only clean up for other people or to avoid someone's wrath Except when I am finally overcome with the urge to clean and I keep it that way for about five weeks Don't kiss me if you just ate something with cheese Or ketchup or mustard or any other condiment I enjoy eating meat I wear black t-shirts, jeans, sneakers At work I wear gray or black shirts, black pants and my Herman Munster boots Otherwise I lounge around in my underwear hhsb's visit was really strange I want to make people happy I hate some people but only when I'm online. I'm glad they have an off switch. I've probably stalked you at one point or another out of curiousity My former boss in NYC is a prick Life is random, there is no fate or destiny. If there was fate or destiny then some people would be more important than others according to whomever established the outcome of fate or destiny. Randomness puts everyone on a level playing field. God has better things to do than give a shit about you If I met God I'd slit his fucking throat while cursing his name If I met Satan I'd slap his face for wanting to be like God instead of being himself I wish Makonan liked me more Brian is my brother even though we don't share the same chromosomes NASA disappoints me Loud people get marked as unintelligent when I'm in their company Tylenol is poison Moving to Colorado Springs is part of my therapy I've squandered every opportunity that has presented itself to me I love cold weather I hate people who can't bear the cold and constantly bitch about it I don't miss the humidity of New Jersey I miss my grandma and grandpa I'm reconsidering the fact that my apartment is haunted I endeavor to keep to myself as much as possible as well as keeping quiet when I'm around large groups I don't understand people who go off on "You used to be cool" when I've always been a certain way just now I'm not being cool towards them or their little clique I don't want to visit Chicago ever I have yet to stand in the Pacific after a long day's journey to watch the sun set in the waters. I would hope to do this with another human being to share the moment. I beat myself up when I don't make one of my friends laugh I like women but it's unrequieted I like Frank Sinatra The back of the church caught fire while I was being baptised I only watch TV when I have the remote handy Going on the internet drains my life and, more importantly, my time I was going to be named Adrian. I am pleased that I wasn't named Adrian especially after Rocky was released in theaters. Americans who use British spellings and cross their zees and sevens with little hashes are hilarious. I don't want to die because I won't be remembered, fondly or otherwise It's 9:22 MST Daylight savings time is the most evil creation of humanity which makes the Nazi concentration camps pale in comparison. At least the camps were closed, daylight savings time will continue unabated for some unknown reason that's vaguely associated with children's safety. "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." There, I did that without doing one of those "I'm not really one hundred things interesting" filler bits. I got into work late today because I was oversleeping like usual but I lost track of time. Fucking NPR is supposed to have music playing every ten minutes along with the "KRCC's blowjobs are funded by Fruity McNutcake's Fairy Mountain Cafe". I'm really proud of my father. Today's his birthday and the other day some guy tried to jump him in NYC while he was going to some barber convention to steal his backpack. My father turned around and slugged him so hard that the guy didn't get up. Some cops saw what was going on, offered to send him over to Bellevue for medical attention then proceeded to take the guy into custody. Fortunately my father wasn't hurt except his hand's a bit sore because he's a tough motherfucker and it's also fortunate that the man who attempted to mug my father decided to struggle with the police after he was revived and they had to knock his kneecap out of place. Some people don't know to leave well enough alone. Whatever that means. Just wish that I knew why my father isn't able to check my site. I can check it from upstairs or MCI or from home. 3/15/02 Aww yeah, Bill O'Reilly on The Daily Show. Only two real working days until Makonan arrives. Next Monday and Wednesday don't count because I get to sleep late the days before and after those work days and it's the beginning of one of the commission cycles. I'm kicking ass this cycle. My father kicks ass, literally. He punched that guy so hard that his wedding ring bent and had to be cut off his finger. If I had to do something that was so avaricious it would be watching the sun rise over at the tip of Cape May and the Atlantic then fly to California to watch the sun set over the Pacific all in the same day. It'd be better if I was able to speed across the USA and do that but it'd be highly doubtful even if I did it on the summer solstice. I was a good boy yesterday by not showing anyone a preview of my list of one hundred things about me despite the fact I wanted to share it so much after finishing it up that night. On Wednesday night I believe I had a bowel movement. Not a real big firm bowel movement worthy of rate my poo but it was definitely solid instead of being a watery cascade of yellow and brown. Mordred said that #92 made her laugh. Malyss pointed out typos that I made in the list and said that my life is only one third over instead of being half over. Makonan chided me for taking three aspirin a day in the morning and that if I wanted to have a good ticker I should take one of those wee orange aspirin instead. Those little orange aspirins remind me of being up late with my father when I was five years old and he was giving it to me so I'd feel better but he'd tell me how not to act so much better that I could avoid school the very next day. Hooray for my dad! Wrestlemania is just around the corner, I have a half assed work week next week and a visitor too. Hot damn. My cup runneth over. Especially since Jaybird found someplace that does kick ass Chinese food. Definitely need to do Chinese on Wrestlemania from this place. The Ides of March ******************** Daily Horoscope for haakon studebaker Sagittarius on Friday Mar 15, 2002: Changes will be disruptive but must be accepted. ******************** 3/16/02 I drew three cards, one card was the 65th card and the seven of swords, the other was the 72nd from the deck and the four of wands. Final card is the sun which was 76th. The seven of swords stands for sneakiness but I'm unsure if it means that if it's about sneakiness on my part or on my behalf. The four of wands represents a celebration, success and having the fruits of one's labor. The sun is a positive card representing reason, self knowledge and other generally good things. Just right now is a good time to be a pessimist about things and anything that implies anything good is foolish at best. What I can see as being good in my life at this time is Makonan's visit on Wednesday night. I'm just surprised that I didn't see the tower pop up anywhere since right about now feels like such a situation (sudden traumatic change). Or a ten of swords at the very worst (living through something). Please pardon the fact that this seems dramatic and I don't mean to be just that the best words I can draw upon are too evocative. On Friday night when I went upstairs briefly to visit with the Birds I realized how much the backyard looked like a movie set. Maybe it was the smallness or the lighting or simply the unreality which comes along with the big fluffy snowflakes falling all around me. If I wasn't feeling lucid I would've stood there for a few hours staring up into the purple sky wondering if New York City was just over the northeast horizon causing the familiar light pollution. Damn, there's no light pollution out here in Colorado Springs. None. Absolutely no light pollution. Maybe a little and I might be under that particular delusion since it's always so clear without clouds to reflect the dirty purple-red haze. You know, Hulk Hogan nowadays looks a lot like those velvet painting clowns. Whatever he's doing with his five o'clock shadow which is substantially darker than his big cocksmoking, fu manchu mustache just makes me think he should be posing for some velvet painting with a tear running down one cheek and pondering the mortality of a slowly wilting daisy. When Hulk Hogan's not wearing his trademark bandana (to hide years of scarring to draw blood for the crowd and his baldness) the effect is heightened with his Gallagher pattern balding. From what I've seen on Comedy Central at least Gallagher has had some semblance of dignity and shaved his head. 3/17/02 St. Francis of Hoboken 3/18/02 I keep thinking that Monday is going to be a busy day but in reality it most likely will not be a busy day. I believe I continue to think that Monday will be busy because then I'll feel overwhelmed and decide to do absolutely nothing in lieu of constructive pursuits that will simply alleviate stress in a non-masturbatory fashion. Right now I'm pleased with the scarlet and gold and I reckon I'll be keeping this particular scheme for a few more days. Wrestlemania was a fine piece of entertainment. The saddest part was when The Rock kicked Hulk Hogan's ass because Hogan looked so god damned old, worn out and forlorn losing to The Rock. Hulk ended up becoming a good guy in the end because the NWO had forsaken him for being a loser so Rock came back to defend Hulk. I feel that Hulk becoming a good guy is simply because Hulk is dying and wrote a letter to Vince McMahon asking to be a wrestler one more time before cancer kills him. Being a proud member of the Make-A-Wish foundation, Vince granted that wish after being deeply moved by the letter written on construction paper in green crayon with happy sun faces and dancing flowers while tiny red hearts float heavenward. Best part of this match was the audience since they were cheering for Hulk Hogan the loudest and The Rock only got a lukewarm reception. The running gag with the hardcore championship was brilliant. This more than made up for the lackluster performance between Maven and the talented Goldust. As for the final bout between Triple H and Chris Jericho, that was depressing because I can't see why anyone in their right mind would let Triple H get the championship other than the fact that he's got a gimp leg and acting like a good guy. It's bedtime and tomorrow is uncertain at best. To Do Take care of trash in bedroom Shower Do dishes and finish kitchen Check a few places around town and see if they are hiring and have the same standards as my current employer Go food shopping Baking soda (for fridge) Red kidney beans Ground beef Seltzer Onion and garlic Clean out car Call Dad

Still To Do Finish dishes Go food shopping Baking soda (for fridge) Red kidney beans Ground beef Seltzer Onion and garlic Clean out car Shower Yes, I actually got my room cleaned up and it took a lot of elbow grease. The car's the only major thing left except for getting some food ready for Makonan's arrival in case she is hungry. Right now I'm just waiting for laundry to finish up so I can go to bed and whatever laundry's left over can be done while I'm out doing food shopping and cleaning up the car. Right now it feels like when I just moved in. My bedroom's clean, I'm unemployed (as far as I know) and I have that kind of elation feeling of being away from my issues in New Jersey. Hee, whenever people ask me why I moved out here the first thing to come up is saying something smartass about being a criminal or someone back in NJ is pregnant but I always stop myself since people don't know me well enough to know my kind of humor. As of right now there's just twenty one hours. 3/21/02 Very strange and almost lucid dreams last night dealing with my current job situation. In the dream I had just woke up after having a dream of "everything's going to work out just right" and I decided to go into work just for the hell of it. When I arrived, and I got in despite my lack of badge, my supervisor was there. "You're back." The first thing I thought was, "Oh shit, what about my floating holidays that I used up for Makonan's visit?" because since I am out of work for a week (paid) and that cut into time I already scheduled off. I asked anyway and he said "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Suck it up." I shrugged and thanked him. He started rattling off everything that went on and then he mentioned the one thing that made my heart drop. "I had to pull a favor." Aw Jesus H. Christ. Fucking favors. Everytime someone does a favor for me anything that I do after that ends up being complete shit and never makes up for the favor. I hate when people do me favors because it puts a Sword of Damocles over my head. I thanked him and left the building to use up the rest of my unscheduled time off. It was night now and I was unbelievably hot despite the cold air. I drove back to an apartment complex and went inside one of the apartments which was roasting. Being really uncomfortable I decided to go back out to my car, remove the black sweatshirt I was wearing underneath my black button-down shirt but I never got around to it. In fact when I thought I did remove my sweatshirt I had removed my underwear, folded it up and threw it into the car. The opposite window was open and my underwear flew out that side so I scampered over to the other side and picked up the folded cotton undergarment. While I was walking back to someplace unknown the underwear was steaming. That's strange. For some reason I thought I hadn't dreamt at all this month but this is the sixth dream I've had in March. 12:44 a.m. Makonan's here, her flight was late because the toilet on her second plane wasn't working and there's some regulation that requires there to be one working toilet. So an hour and twenty six minutes later she was in Colorado Springs. I napped in my car once I found out how late she was going to be. She says that I drive like a madman. Sigh. 3/22/02 On the first day of spring it snowed. Today wasn't that interesting and I'm figuring it was basically stuff Makonan could've did at home (i.e. boring) which is annoying, plus the fact that it's so cold here it's coming through the window despite it being closed and I'm going to pile towels against it so there isn't a draft. Later on we'll be going upstairs to have dinner with the Birds, she'll end up reading while the rest of watch wrestling because she ha^H^H strongly dislikes wrestling because guys with mullets who drive camaros watch it. I'm just hoping that she ends up having a good time and I'm able to show it to her because she's had one or two trips that weren't particularly good and I'm putting it upon myself to break that cycle dontchaknow. Plus I'm going to be taking pictures of her to mark this event along with giving her material to put on her page. She is but she doesn't particularly believe it or she takes it in fun. Makonan is willowy, damnit! A statuesque venus! I emailed my supervisor on Tuesday but he never got the email, also I phoned him today and emailed him again to see what the situation is with MCI. He let me know that he had me scheduled for 12:30 today. Fuck, why today? I took off Thursday and Friday because my "father" was visiting me. It's always easier to tell employers that family is coming around because they don't ask questions nor do they deem it superfluous as they would if it was a very close friend, esp. of the opposite sex. Shame on them. Well last night I dreamt of numbers. Long strings of numbers, integers and digits that were constantly scrolling up to 512 and then back down to a small number with two digits. Somehow it was about me accruing points for something. Part of me thinks that the dream was about MCI but the other part is just trying to say that I had an abstract dream and should not read into it. Later on I'll borrow the Birds' Blockbuster rental card so I can rent a movie or two. The only videos I have are anime, science fiction anime no less, which is definitely not up her alley. Okay, first impressions of Makonan. She's definitely a tall woman and I was expecting her to be tall and that is a Good Thing (tm). When I came back to my place I checked my voicemail and got her apologetic message of "plane fucked up and I'm so late. sorry!" she sounded like Makonan but in person she kinda didn't which made me think that her voice has the same quality that her face has where she doesn't look like the same person in each photo that's taken of her and her voice doesn't sound the same. Well she sounds like Makonan just I'm not talkative at the moment so I haven't had much chance to hear her talk plus she's under the weather. Later Wrestling was cool, she didn't read once but later she said that it was akin to doing something once just to say you did it. That's cool, still I hope she had fun upstairs with the Birds. Sadly they're not much more exciting than me except for the fact that they have a PS2. Friday I'll see about taking Makonan somewhere around here, it's kinda hard to think of places to go because I don't know the area but I'm sure I'll think of something to do or someplace to go that will embody Colorado. Writing this around 11:45 at night isn't really much of a help because it has me in a mood and I'm not going to get anything constructive written down and that's why I was quiet after coming back from wrestling lest she get a faceful of diary_spivak or a simpering facsimile thereof. 3/23/02 We went to Garden of the Gods and climbed up on boulders and rock formations. Here are pictures. I also posted a new comic. 3/24/02 Makonan left. I am a piece of shit. You knew that already, I have a penchant for stating the obvious. 3/25/02 Just looking for work and hoping that my paycheck arrives on Wednesday in the mail so I can pay my rent on time. Other than that I cleaned up the site, ditched the scarlet and gold then did nothing for the rest of the day. I want to destroy everything in my life. I already got myself fired from MCI, Makonan's disgusted with me, etc.. All I have is a clean apartment. I can't find a decent way to kill myself that's relatively painless but also 100% effective. Malyss now owns *stonecutters and she's been advised on how to run the list along with the list of fewer than ten people who are never to be banned from the list regardless of quota or alcohol given to the list owner along with requesting that the list remain running in perpetuity or until *b:shutdown actually gets passed. I only kept 52k because I want my +2 @karma. Maybe I'll end up like this guy. Not likely since I'd be found by the next Thursday because those meddling Birds would come down to see why I wasn't in attendance. Anyway, I have absolutely no place to complain because all of this is my doing and I was in control the entire time and anything that I say to admonish myself (which I will do in private and in my head) will be purely empty. Two things kept me from going over to the airport on Sunday morning. One being the fact that it wouldn't have been appreciated and Makonan would probably run over into the "ticketed passengers only" area while the army guys with empty M-16s stop me and ask for my papers before sending me off to the work camp at Cheyenne Mountain shovelling elephant poo at the zoo. Reason number two being the fact that I'm so completely shitfaced at the moment that the only thing I can think of is "driving bad". A few quickies. On Thursday night I dreamt I was in a park at sunset with Al Pacino talking about something frightfully relevant to my life except I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying but to his fumbling with various cellophane wrappers for cigars and slim jims. The night before I dreamt that Devo was loading a shotgun and I was fascinated with the way she was shoving the shells into the barrel. She did it quite quickly and with body language that expressed how sincerely pissed off she was about something. 3/29/02 The following material is from #90845, whomever #90845 is. Keep the submissions coming in.   Hope you like the contri. Pls don't show my email! _________________________ / diary_spivak 3/28/2002 \ |by ASS-key_Artist #1| |-------------------------| | I love you | u r teh sux| | Makonan / \ and I hate| |\_________/ \___ yu0!!!| | | ____ \ \_____/| | \ //oo\\ /..\\ | | //|--|\\ /\- |\ | | /*\/*\ /\/'\ | | /* * *\ \/\ || | ()* * () / \()| \___\*__*/__________|_____/ / Boo hoo hoo, I'll never \ | see her again. I'm | |\__________leaving Lambda| |`\ /`oo'\ '\ forever. | |` /`|--|`\ \ *munch* | | ` /*\/---'' \_ *munch* | | /o *|chi| \________/| | ()* |ps() | \___\*__---_______________/ / Well, time to log in as \ | a guest and jerk off _/| |\ in this coat. ______/ | | \_____________/ _____ | | \ //oo\\ /____/| | | //|<>|\\ |lamb-|| | | /*\/*\_ |daMOO|| | | /* * /\c\ |_____|/) | | ()* * ()cc\ /::::::/() | \___\*__*/_c||_`-----'____/